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I already hate school so much - tw

todays monday and im in engineering class and i keep on wanting to kms and like jump off the top floor down to the lobby and idk this freshman in my class is partnering with me for a project and that means i have to spend more time with him then i want to and during lunch he saw the cuts on my thigh and i tried hiding them this morning but i have nothing to hide them with and i dont have clean pants so im wearing shorts and he asked me really loudly if i cut myself and i assumed he saw so i didnt say no i just asked why, and he said “i saw them, theyre bright red” and he said it loud enough that it caught his friends attention and hes just sitting there smiling like its a good thing and it makes me really upset that he asked like that but im not going to tell him that cuz its embarrassing. im really trying my best. I havent gone to therapy in a few months and im not on my meds for some reason my mother wont tell me and idk what to do other than cut myself and at this point my mom knows and she just told me not to be sorry and i just dont know what to do

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judgement is the simplest way to understand someones character. while this freshman may not have been trying to make fun of you or anything along those lines all we can ever do is try our best and not let peoples opinions or beliefs define us. No one fully understands what anyone is going through and how they manage their life. the only thing that we can do as an individual is realize that time heels all and one day in the future you will look back on these days and go im glad i fought through that. realizing the power within our selves is more powerful than allowing someone to get to you and think they know better than you do about yourself. I hope everything turns out ok for you and that you stay as strong as possible.

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Well you have a awesome mother for her not yelling at you and telling you thats its going to be ok. My mom freaks out takes away all my electronics and yells at me all day for a whole week.

And just ignore the person who said that. he probs already forgot about it!

Stay strong you got this!

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Hey there, @brokenglass. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I’ve been through similar moments during school and I understand how hard they can be.

What I’d say about having these thoughts is understanding that they’re just that, they are just thoughts and have no weight over reality. I know how scary it can be to think these things but it’s important to remember that you are not your thoughts in any way. You’re stronger than the thoughts you have.

In situations like these, the best advice I can give is to tell people who point these things out, who you don’t know/trust or people who are doing it in a hurtful way, that it’s none of their business and you don’t have to explain anything to them. I know it can sound harsh, but if they aren’t trying to help you or you don’t know them, it’s really not their business to know what you have going on in your life unless you want to tell them. When people try to be hurtful about these types of things, they’re just trying to get a reaction from you and it’s better not to give them one.

The best thing I’d reccomend doing is having an open and honest conversation with your mother about why you aren’t on your medication, and maybe you could ask her about going to therapy again if that’s something you would like to do. I know it can be hard to be open to parents but it’s really important for your well-being. As much as it would help, our parents can’t read our minds so we have to open up to them when it’s needed, especially when asking for help or asking them for something you need or something that is important.

I know that all of this can feel like a lot going on in your life and I can’t imagine how hard it can feel but just remember that this is all one moment in your life and it will pass eventually. There’s always someone to talk to on here if you ever need someone to listen, and I promise that people on here will gladly hear you out. Hold fast, friend, You’re never alone. :hrtlegolove:

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I understand how even when the whole event is past and everyone else had forgotten that it would still be in your bad memories bank. It would still hurt.

But for you to understand, when I say this it never heals all the pain, but just so you know, you didn’t do anything wrong in this. If the freshmen where making fun of you, that is their fault.

And maybe, they were just smiling ti try and cheer you, ya’know?

Keep holding on, Pengyou :yellow_heart:

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