Hey, I have felt pretty similar to what you described, although our specific circumstances are different. You referred to yourself as a broken puzzle piece. I have applied those exact words to myself for years.
I was born with a physical disability called spina bifida. As a result, my spinal cord was damaged, leaving my feet and ankles paralyzed from birth. (Please understand I have no interest in pity. I’d say most people with disabilities don’t want to be pitied because of it.) I can walk, but throughout my life, I have used various assistive devices. When I was a kid, I used a combination of ankle-foot orthotics (leg braces,) a wheelchair, and forearm crutches. I still wear my braces to walk every day, and I use my chair for long distances. The phrase “taking up too much space” sounds all too familiar to my experience using a chair and crutches. I feel like I am constantly in the way when I’m in my chair. It takes up to much floor space. But it puts my head at everyone else’s waist level when they’re standing up, making it harder to interact with them, because they’re not used to the awkward height difference. They just avoid making eye contact with me. Since I have relied heavily on my upper body strength my whole life, my shoulders have become rather broad, and my arms are bigger and more muscular than that of many of my peers. So even when I’m not in my chair, I still seem to take up more space than a lot of other people. No matter where I go or what I do, I cannot seem to fit in. I stand out even when I’m trying all I can to blend into the crowd. People notice my chair, or my braces, or the way I walk. There’s nothing I can do about it. Children stare and ask questions. Adults sometimes do the same. Like you, I feel like a broken puzzle piece. But I’ve had to learn to deal with it. You can do it too.
Being quiet and reserved does come with its drawbacks. I am very shy, quiet, and submissive. But that only means that people ignore me or just don’t notice me when I want to be noticed, and they give me funny looks and unwanted attention when I wish they would leave me alone. Being too quiet has been a pretty big obstacle for me because it prevents me from making my voice heard. I have a certain level of respect for people who are more assertive than I am. So what value or advantages can you see in your natural propensity to be more outspoken? Hone in on that and refine your strengths. It most likely will take work, time, and effort for both of us to improve our social skills. But is it possible that you’re not as “off” as you seem to think you are? Is it possible that you are your harshest critic?
God made us all with quirks and idiosyncracies for a reason. They can present barriers and create isolation. But they can also fill the world with beauty. You don’t have to be alone all by yourself. We’re here. We appreciate you. Jesus loves you.