I Am An Anxious HOT Mess

So I applied for a beautiful 3 bedroom 2 bath townhouse and I am so excited about it, but I am also anxious about it. I keep having negative thoughts that I am not going to get it just like the last place I applied for. The last place denied me due to my credit and the fact that I have a misdemeanor of criminal damaging on my record. And all I can keep thinking is what if they deny me because of my record? Now I am supposed to be off of probation soon and I can wipe this from my record because it’s the first and only charge I have ever had.

I don’t understand why these thought are so heavy right now, but they are. I mean I know my children and I fucking deserve this. I’m going to be working my ass off to maintain until I can get a housing voucher for this place. I want it bad. I need this victory because I don’t want my spirit broken when I’ve been doing great so far with staying on my meds and my sobriety. I just really need this victory.

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Hey there @grandmastrqueen,

I don’t have anything to add, I just read this and the power of your words shook me. You most definitely deserve this and I, along with the rest of this community, believe in you while also wishing you the best!

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Hey @grandmastrqueen,

Wishing you all the best for your application. This is a stressful situation, as the outcomes are very important. But I really want to applause your efforts and determination here. You’re awesome.

Really crossing my fingers and hoping you’ll get a positive answer! Keep in mind that if not, you’ll have different opportunities - even if it’s always a bit discouraging. You’ll get there. You’ll get this victory sooner or later. You and your children freaking deserve it! And we’ll keep standing by your side along this journey. :hrtlegolove:

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Looking for a new place to live isn’t just a ho-hum thing. It’s a life-changing event, and it’s stressful for anyone! add in the fact that you’re seeing this house as a symbol of your success, and there is a lot riding on it. I understand perfectly why it’s so heavy!

How long do you have to wait to find out if you got it?

I really hope you get this house. If for any reason you don’t though, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You should be proud of everything you’ve accomplished, and from your other posts it sounds to me like you are. You need a victory. If it’s not this one, that doesn’t mean you’ve been defeated, it means that there’s another one coming. You’ve put in the work and achieved the stability for this, and the right opportunity will present itself. I hope it’s this one though :slight_smile: Good luck!

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I really appreciate each one of you for your positive feedback and making me feel like my stress is a normal response. I’m just so anxious because I want to be excited, but not too soon. I do not want to get so fixated on this that is causes a huge let down if it does not work out. The most bothersome thing is that my 9 y/o boy was so excited about the place and he’s extremely excited and I don’t want him to be let down. I don’t want to let him down. It makes me a little mad because I didn’t want to take him and his siblings along to view it just so that I didn’t have to worry about him being let down, but my step-dad refused to watch them and my mom was hellbent on going along so of course she couldn’t just stay home and watch them. I’m just really hoping for a positive outcome. Luckily, my case manager appointed to me by the courts, a residential advisor that she found, my mom, and even my therapist are all on my side trying to help me get this place. They all feel like my charge should not keep me from getting a home, but it has before and I am terrified that it’ll happen again this time around. But my therapist and case manager both are willing to vouch for me to appeal that type of decision if it does turn out to be the reason why. So please keep praying for me guys! I haven’t heard anything back yet, but I am secretly and continuously claiming it. (I’ve even started a housewarming registry on Amazon :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:)

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I didn’t want to take him and his siblings along to view it just so that I didn’t have to worry about him being let down, but my step-dad refused to watch them and my mom was hellbent on going along so of course she couldn’t just stay home and watch them.

Sorry he discovered about this. It’s understandable that you wanted to keep your kids away from this in case it doesn’t work. In any case, don’t forget that the decision ultimately is not yours/your responsability. You can do your best, but there’s also a part of things you can’t control. And what you can control, well you’re doing it brilliantly!

But my therapist and case manager both are willing to vouch for me to appeal that type of decision if it does turn out to be the reason why.

That’s awesome! It’s always good to have people ready to stand by your side!!

:crossed_fingers: :crossed_fingers:

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@Micro Thank you! And it is nice to have them on my side. The one thing I am not worried about is not having anyone on my side, but I do and it feels amazing.

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