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From Skellybanks: I am at a point in life, where I have experienced too much (emotional) pain. I don’t know what to do anymore then to just slave away at work or games.

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My advice would be to find things that you like to do. It may be the case that discovering your passion can work wonders for your self esteem. It only makes perfect sense that you would increase your level of happiness if you can find something you want to live for and love doing.

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Hi friend,
I think it’s often so easy to give in to this pain. I can relate to your post so much. I feel like I’ve lived a thousand lives because of all my trauma. I think it’s in these moments when we can learn just how strong we can be. Do you have anyone in your life that you speak with about your struggles? For me, opening up about what I was going through was so very helpful. Please know that this community is here for you and is full of people that would love to help. I’m wishing you all the best, friend.

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Hi Skellybanks,
thank you for reaching out to us. welcome to Heart Support.
it is really not much context on this, are you reaching out to maybe professional therapist ? a councelor ?
do you have friends or family that you can reach out to ?
the first and always most important step is to reach out. it is difficult und hard, like life.
you are not alone in this, you are never alone my friend. look after yourself. you matter most.
you are loved and you matter most :face_in_clouds: :purple_heart:
feel hugged

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Hey Shelly,

I hear you. I see you. And I’m truly sorry that you’ve known so much pain for such a long time. It’s unfair to just go through the motions and feel as if life was only meant to be pure agony. It makes you wonder what’s even the point: what’s the point to keep trying, what’s the point to wake up, what’s the point to keep moving on… It feels as if you’re living on constant survival mode with a very limited amount of energy. That even the things you used to enjoy are not as fulfilling as it was… This is a tough place to be. Although in the midst of this pain, I can assure you that you are not alone. Not alone in this situation, and not alone right now in your life. You just made a first step by reaching out, and that is such a courageous and strong action to take. I hope you’ll feel here as loved, cared for and welcomed as you need here.

If you’re comfortable sharing, I’d personally love getting to know you better, your story, your own journey. What was before getting to this point of feeling overwhelmed by life. These painful experiences that you had may be part of your life, but they don’t need to have to be silenced and carried just on your own. Know that you have friends here willing to listen and support you. :hrtlegolove:

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Hi Friend, Thank you for posting, I think emotional pain is so much more exhausting than physical, it wears you down on every little part of your body, I am so sorry you are feeling this way and hope that by reaching out here and hopefully to others (friends, family, doctors) you are going to feel loved, helped and eventually refreshed enough to know what you want in your future and go grab it with both hands, you deserve that. Much Love Lisa. x

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Hello Skelly

This is a kind of a pain I know all too well. The kind that gets to a point that it is all that you can see. No answers in sight. I can’t tell you how it can get better, or why. I just know that it can, and it has, slowly, for me. I saw no purpose, meaning, or means to an end to end my own suffering.
It’s really hard for me to find the words in these situations to express the feelings that I feel. Feelings sometimes don’t really come across well in writing. But it’s a feeling of wanting you to know that you are not alone, and that it can get better. It did for me, with the help of professionals, time, life events, and a bit of hard work. Thank you for choosing our community to share in, and I hope you find some relief of some kind soon. - Thrice

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From Skellybanks: Hello all.
I’ll be perfectly honest with what I say here.

In my childhood, I was emotionally abused by my father, and “Babied” by my mother. My father would constantly yell at my mother, my siblings, and me. Calling me and them names to make fun of them. And giving me way too extreme punishments, sometimes, for very petty reasons. He’d constantly have anger outbursts that resulted in the former; and he’d often try to control my mothers finances.
Meanwhile my Mother overtly cared for me. While she was better than my father, she would not and refused to let me grow, even into my late teenage years.
So you have this situation, where I have an overly strict, narcissistic father, and a way too caring mother.
To this day, I see signs of my dad in me. Anger outbursts, getting upset over petty reasons, etc.
And I hate myself for that.
My siblings, did not, and still do not care about me.
There is of course more, but it’d be the same story with Childhood issues.

I constantly question my own self-image, cowering over the idea that I’ll end up like my dad. Or I’ll end up with a Job that is monotonous, making me a cog in an endless system that no matter what you do you’re always stuck there. Forever. And everybody else is the same way.
I am eternally empty inside. Fueled by nightmares, and hate, and trauma.
In the end, I guess I am worthless. At least I sure do feel like it.

I did go see a therapist one day. Initially things looked up, but it came clear after about 3 months, that instead of getting to know me more, they decided to go overly relying on medications. Stuff that at times made me feel worse than if I wasn’t taking it.
So I was engrossed in this cycle of “I did not like/this medicine made me feel worse” then they’d give me a new medicine and repeat.
I honestly do not think they helped at all.