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I am just a kid. Am tired

So… Long story short. I live in a broken family. Yes. Thats it… And now this fact doesn’t even bother me. I have just accepted it.
My parents abuse me. Mentally, emotionally, physically. Have been for as long I can remember. Am just a teen. And possibly know more than a adult. That’s how mature i was forced to become. My mom and dad don’t have a good relationship. My dad is a asshole. My mom is a single working mother. And no. They are not divorced. My dad just transfers frequently. My mom being a single working mother of two kids. And with a failing body. The anger and frustation had to be taken out somewhere. So it was taken out on us. Getting beaten till I bleed at just doing things kids do. It has been normal for me. And I can’t hate my parents. Atleast not my mom. No matter how much I try to.
I have tried to ask for help from adults. 3 times! And was denied each time. I was told am overreacting and parents beat their children because they love them.
Am just a kid… This isn’t fair

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Hey Autumn,

Thank you for coming here to share your story. You are so brave for doing so.

You are right. That’s not fair and parents should never beat their children. I hope you know that you are loved, but you don’t deserve to be treated that way. You have so much value and no one should ever make you feel wothless because that would be a lie.

I know what it is like to have a parent home and another parent in and out of the house. It can be really hard. Please know that you are not alone in any of this.

What have you done in the past to cope with the stress?

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Well… I year ago I would use self destructive measures to feel sage like self harm and stuff. But now I have my best friends so I just talk to them to feel better.

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That definitely isn’t fair and your dad should be taken away and this is so bad, I’m sorry to say, though, that this needs to be taken to some sort of authority.

I hate my dad. I really do. But the one who abuses me the most is my own mother. Dad doesn’t beat me.

Your mother definitely should not be beating you. If she is beating you, it definitely isn’t “because she loves you.” The people who say that are very wrong.

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I know that. A year before I didn’t but now I know it ain’t my fault.

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Hey @Autumn_annesley,

It takes a lot of strength to share about how your parents treat you. Thank you for doing it here and thank you for your trust.

You know already that what your parents are doing is absolutely wrong. You used the right word by saying that this is abuse - whether it’s direct or passive. There is nothing normal in that situation, but I understand why you feel like, somehow, “it is what it is”. It’s hard to feel like you have any power in that situation. But you did the right thing every time you reached out. What people responded to you was absolutely wrong and messed up.

It’s good that you know that none of this is your fault. You seem to have a good understanding of the situation and it’s a real strength. Though I want to encourage you to keep reaching out, friend. Your safety is a priority. Would you feel comfortable with reaching out to a helpline? We can help you find the right numbers/information if you want. You don’t deserve to be left in that situation, nor your sibling(s) as it seems that you’re not alone. There are professionals out there who can help you and your parents, as it seems that your mom need help too. This anger and frustration might need to be taken out somewhere, but certainly not on you, and she needs a third party to make her understand this and learn to be a mom who’d provide you the safety you need.

I’m sending hugs your way. Let us know how it goes for you friend. You matter. :hrtlegolove:

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I have thought about reaching out for help or running away for a long time. Really long. But I can’t. I have my small brother who only has me. I have to protect him too. Also my dad is a lazy asshole so I can’t count on him too. We are trapped.

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Hey @Autumn_annesley, thank you for your reply. <3

I understand your concerns. I was in your situation while growing up. My mom very violent and I was afraid for my siblings before anyone else. At the moment, I thought about running away too. I remember that my sister and I made a plan and we were ready to act on it, but I’m glad we never did it. Running away could have had heavy consequences and put ourselves in more danger. It’s not a solution in itself. Though what we never did was reaching out to someone or CPS.

I hear you. It feels like being trapped, but I want you to know that you are not. There are appropriate services and people willing to help. You did a right thing by talking about it here.

So I’m not forcing you to make a decision right now, but I want to leave here in our conversation some helpline informations:

These are services available to you. It is safe. It is composed of people who are trained to help you face this situation. It is their role to protect you and your brother, also to make your parent understand what’s wrong. They can hear all your concerns, questions, doubts and answer to them. If you’re afraid of contacting them, you can have a look at their Q/A first, also to make sure that you delete your browser history or navigate on private mode if you’re afraid that your mom could find out and hurt you because of that.

Also, you mentioned your dad and I hear that your relationship with him is difficult. Could you tell me what makes you describe him like this? Is he aware of what’s going on/did he witness that?

Otherwise, is there a family member that you would trust enough to talk to (cousin, uncle, aunt, grandparent…)? Or a teacher, a neighbour… I’m only asking because I don’t know who are the people you reached out to before, so I’m sorry if it makes you repeat a little some of the things you said. :heart:

Also, just checking on you - how are you doing today?

I’m rooting for you.

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I am really sorry for replying so late as their were some issues because of which I couldn’t.
First, I want to thank you for understanding my situation so well.
Second. I’mma gonna explain everything. I am 14 and my little brother is 10. My parents are quite old as we were born late. My dad was brought up thinking women are for working so he doesn’t do anything. ANYTHING. We even have to feed him. The only reason we are living with him us he earns a fat amount of money and we need it.
My mother on the other hand is a working women with failing health. She was a kind of single mother as my father worked out of station. Raising two children and tackling a job side by sides and having many illnesses had some effect on her(on us too). She is very violent, beating us till we are screaming and bleeding over small issues. And when I confront her about this she gaslights me. Both my father and mother are extremely emotionally abusive. This had a very huge effect on my mental health.
I love my mother very much and I know she loves me too. But she is person am the most afraid of in the world.
I have tried asking for help. First from the teacher who’s response was I was overreacting and was ungrateful brat and my parents did this coz they loved me.
Second one day I broke down and screamed at my parents saying I don’t like it when they beat me and am scared of them. They had the audacity to look hurt and mad at me coz I a little girl told my loving parents to not beat me anymore.
Third I told my elder sister(cousin) about this. She justified my mothers action saying she is a single mother and I shouldn’t take it a ego of her beating. They love me after all.
All these responses broke me. I realized people don’t really care. I was suffering and asking for help and they don’t care.
The fact is abuse and mental health doesn’t exist in our country. Abuse is sooo normalized people don’t accept it. Mental health is nothing.
I can’t say I am great though. All this really has a toll on me. My brain is really tired. And I have struggled with my own demons since years. I find it really hard to now.
I have tried talking to my parents and they don’t understand. As said abuse is normalized in our country.
I am really tired and I know there aren’t many ways through which I can escape.

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Try contacting a mental hospital because both your parents need help.

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Hey @Autumn_annesley,

No worries for the late response, mine is late too. It’s totally okay to respond whenever you can. Thank you so much for your time again. <3

I’m so sorry for your family situation. It sounds that, between your father and your mother’s situation, there is an open door for abuse and toxicity, indeed. It breaks my heart that you are afraid of your mom. Not that you would be wrong, just that not any child should ever be afraid of their parent. You don’t deserve any harm. You don’t deserve any abuse. The way you describe the situation is very thoughtful, mature, and I’m sorry you had to grow up so fast, friend. This is a really tough situation, something you’ve never asked for nor deserved.

I understand a little more why people you reached out to had those kinds of reactions now. I hear that there is a social context behind that makes abuse something normalized while it shouldn’t. But they were wrong by telling you those things. Their understanding of the situation is very ignorant. Your intuition, your guts, your heart are telling you the truth. There is nothing normal in this situation, whether it’s socially accepted or not. The impact on our mental health is still real, and it should be more understood.

May I ask in which country you are living in? Even if abuse is tolerated in your country, there might be nonprofits organizations or groups that try to reverse this narrative and help people who need it. That’s often how change starts to happen, and maybe there could be resources to get out there.

I really hope that you’re hanging in there. I’m thinking of you, even if it’s not much in that situation. Know that there are, at least, people out there who care and understand. And there is a possibility to live a fulfilling life after all of this, even if it feels hopeless sometimes. I’ve been through hellish moments with my mom, but I am still standing up right now, decades after. And so will you.

I’m still rooting for you.