i used to be the best kid, i had a few flaws ofc. i was awkward, i was full of internalized homophobia, but i was good. i got straight A’s, excelled in my skills in the arts, and people liked me. and then things shifted. things i used to see as fun became too much. i no longer looked forward to school. i no longer enjoyed art. i no longer put up with what normal kids would do. im certain this is due to the many traumatic events that shattered my pre-teen years, but why me? why was my opportunity taken away? why was my raw love for the natural world taken away? my normal quirky flaws have been replaced with traits of mental illness. its really not fair. people used to like me. i had long-lasting relationships because i was fun to be around. i feel broken. i get that its cringe or whatever but im not the same girl i used to be.
thank you for being open about all that is on your heart and mind. i’m so sorry trauma and depression has stolen moments and traits away from you that you would’ve loved to fully experience. you aren’t alone in these feelings. however, hope is not lost and there is professional help out there to give you back the opportunities to love this world around you and regain your motivation again. aside from reaching out to a therapist or counselor, please know this heartsupport community understands you completely and wants you to feel whole again… to pick up those shattered pieces and glue them back together. i believe in you to take these steps forward to a better, stronger, and more hopeful tomorrow. you got this!!
Hello Friend, I’m sorry that you’ve had things happen in your pre-teen years that negatively effected you and you’re not doing as good as you were. Have you thought about therapy? You might be able to work some things out there that will help you in your life. Coping skills or even a diagnosis that can be treated and you get back on the path you want. You matter! ~Mystrose
I want to let you know how incredibly proud of you that I am that you came to the wall and let us into a part of your world. I have lived a good chunk of life and I want you to know that sometimes, life changes the script and gives us different paths of life that we didn’t ever plan for. There’s beauty in the broken things. There are new chances given to us. Yes, we might have to process that sense of loss…but it can be for the good.
Take it one day at a time. Be kind to yourself.
You are wonderful. You are strong. You are important. You matter.
Hi Friend, I have no doubt what so ever that you used to be the best kid, you sound like you were really good and life was kind to you back then and thing began to change, notice I said things (not you) I don’t know what you have been through in your life friend but whatever it is clearly has had a remarkable effect on you, your outlook, your choices and on your mental health and along side all of that as if that isnt more than enough you were also growing up, I would be amazed if you didn’t lose interest in things, if you didnt feel like everything was against you and that you were broken and most importantly that you are not the girl you used to be! how could you be? None of this of course means you are not still the most amazing you that you can be right now because I believe that you are. I think under the circumstances you are incredible but I hope you are getting help and support for all that has happened so that you can continue to grow and keep getting better and better, You may never be the person you used to be, you may well end up smarter, more learned and an even bigger star than you ever thought you could be and we are here as much as you need to support you. Much Love Lisa. x
Hi there @d4nyy87,
Reading through your post, I just need to say “wow”. You’re going through a lot, and that’s beyond tough. It’s natural to be exhausted and frustrated by all that you’ve gone through, which makes a lot of sense! When people go through traumatic events, there can have massive effects and it sounds like you’re really hurting from these difficulties in your past.
With that said, nothing you’re experiencing is “cringy” or otherwise minor. There’s a lot on your mind and it’s understandable that you’d feel particularly hurt when looking back and seeing how traumatic events have changed you. With that said, people will love you as you are once you find the right people. Everyone has their quarks and differences, and there will always be someone else out there who can appreciate them.
I know it may feel like you’re “broken” or otherwise lesser now, but this isn’t the case. You are still the same amazing person you used to be – perhaps with some additional experiences and components that make you up. These components that were born in traumatic experiences aren’t necessarily any better or worse than others (though I’d expect they aren’t welcome) – they’re just another part of what makes you you.
You’ve persevered through so much and I’m proud of your continued courage and perseverance. You’re right. This isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair. But you’re continuing to persevere even when dealt a poor hand.
Thank you again for sharing with us. I hope you stay in contact and that it helped a bit to get this off your chest.