I am really burnt out

So many things thrown at me lately, I wake up with problem after problem. Last night I fought off taking my anxiety meds ( i take them on an as need basis but hate taking them because they just make me sleep & i have a sleep hang over the next day feeling really icky.) but was up until 5:30 with so many racing thoughts. Ive been having nightmares a lot too. Not super bad ones but not pleasant. Last night I had a dream I wanted to hang myself which… was very alarming and triggering. I am not suicidal, im quite the opposite I am petrified of death. And when I do wake up its almost like there is always an issue awaiting me. I woke up another ‘morning ‘ at noon not wanting to get out of bed. Its hard. I listened to some of mice & men and beartooth and managed to get myself up though, not that I had a choice. Then a friend started arguing with me. It really was a silly and hurtful argument where they were accusing me of avoiding them when time and time again I have reassured I wouldnt do that. They said we shouldnt be friends for awhile and take a break, fast forward they apologized for saying that and later today started acting ‘normal’ again but judged me for buying merch from my favorite band… ( buying band merch is self care right?:rofl:) and they were all ‘ your favorite band really is not good ‘ and its like… if they werent already skating on thin Ice when I already am dealing with so much… right! Anyway I am back in bed now. I have a headache, my body feels tired. My stomach has felt like its in knots for days from stress. Im just kind of drowning. I really need some encouragement. I also feel i am a bad person/ a bad friend with all the issues ive been dealing with toxic friends / people ignoring me lately : ( i feel alone. Like what have I done to deserve this ? Why is my best simply not good enough? I really dont understand


Reading this shocked me because you are the only other person I’ve met who used the term “feeling icky” in the same context as me and also are like “why is my best just not good enough?”
As for me, my best is so bad that no one even can tell that I’m trying my best. :{

But, I have something you can do, and I think it will make you feel somewhat better, even though it sounds absurd. I began to feel… n=like I wasn’t drowning anymore, and like I could truly breathe… when I did it in October… and I don’t even remember exaclty why I did it…
but my suugestion for you is to set up a tent in your bedroom.

I don’t know how it worked…but when they took the tent away… I felt icky again.


Your best only needs to the best for you. Not what someone else wants. Unfortunately, our lives are not like a bank overdraft. You can’t pull extra out all the time, saying that you’ll make it up later. Or you really will burn out fast. Your personal best is good enough.

You’re not a bad person. It sounds like life is just taking it out of you right now. And that is definitely going to take a toll on you.

Yes! LOL Absolutely! Sometimes retail therapy is just what the doctor ordered. Trust me, I’m a doctor…hahahaa jk jk, but seriously, sometimes I like to buy something that I’ve had my eye on for a little bit of that serotonin boost. I just bought some new pins (I collect them like crazy).

Thank you so much! It has been better that I was honest in saying I needed a break from stress from others and saying I cant help everyone around me right now. In the long run even though unfortunately some ‘friends’ have not been kind I am glad it was an eye opening moment. And LOL I ended up buying all of pierce the veil’s cd’s on impulse and a beanie🤣 you really can never have enough merch!!


Sending you more love and support, I wish I was there with you to literally hold your hand and guide you. :heart: Also I’m sending you a pretend 40 yer old teddy bear that you can feel the love when you hug it.


Thank you friend !!!

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