I have been in a bad situation for the past elven years!!! I feel both my parents have mental heath issues… And mom was paralyzed elven years ago and is morbidly obese and has put me in the situation to take care of her full time and has even kept me from meeting my basic needs. On top of that my mom is very mentally abusive and controlling and the amount of trauma I have been through and am still going through is very hard! And there seems to be no solutions and if the situation doesn’t find any my whole life and future hangs in the balance and it won’t be good. It is very hard to have hope and to what to keep moving forward.
I know how it is having your parents be mental and physically abusive. My parents physically abuse until I moved out. Now I am 29 and I’m their neighbor, because my mom has controlled every aspect of my life, and although she can no longer be physically abuse to me, she’s still be mentally abusive to my children and myself. She’s been being awful to my nine year old, and her and my step dad have been hanging the vehicle I purchased over my head. I didn’t do my research before assuming a license driver needed to have the car in their name, so I asked my dad. I’ve tried so hard to make them treat me right. Tried so hard to please them that I lost sight of doing the best for my children and myself.
Now I am so fed up that I am forcing a change. I hate change, but I’ve gotten to the point where I am now working hard to move and also I’m trying to get my car in my name. It feels like they are trying to make it difficult and they keep trying to prolong it, but I am so damn done that I rather make myself uncomfortable and embracing change. I know I need to get away from them. It’s took to channel my frustration and disappointment into creating a positive change and I am hoping for the best.
I hope that one day, you find that feeling in you to make a positive change and there’s no rush on it. Hell, it’s taking me over ten years to finally make my change.
I am in a similar situation my mom is morbidly obese and has spinal cord injury but her weight keeps her from being able to care for herself like most spinal cord injury people. And she basically just wants me to care for her and be abused when she feels like taking her problems out on me. She has kept me from working for the past elven years. I am trying to get my drivers license something that she has also interfered with to make me not dependent on her and I want to get a job. She has me I. A situation right now to feel bad if she ends up in a nursing home if I move out but I am hoping God has plan and eventually will help me to
be able to move out and be on my own!!! I’m sorry what you and your kids are going through…
I absolutely know what you are talking about. My mom legitimately told me "I took care of you all of your life so now it’s your turn to take care of me" She’s guilted me into a lot of things, taken advantage of me, she secretly made a key for my apartment and she refuses to give it back after I have taken it so many damn time. She has bullied me out of making a vehicle purchase until recently and now they are making it as if it’s their vehicle. Like why do I have to ask for a ride in my own vehicle? Not drive it, but give me a ride in it. They’ve went out of their way to make me look bad with other family members because they want everything they’ve done to be excused. They blame me for any time my sister argues against them and all she is doing is defending me even when I don’t want her to. I’m being protected by my little sister; how does that even work. They’ve spent money that I asked them to hold for me and never repaid it. Said that it was spent on my baby shower although I paid for an made everything for my baby shower from the dollar store. Meanwhile they got a new bed and furniture and things they cannot afford because neither of them work. My mom is always trying to get me to quit my job and go on social security and not for my own sake, but so that there’s more money for her to try to get from me. She’s even made me pay for childcare even when I got my children into daycare and it was free. I’ve been over it a billion times before, but this time instead of tears, there’s action.
Yea my mother comes from a codependent dysfunctional family that relays on the notion that others should take care of you. Yes I believe if you can help someone you should try but when the person is taking advantage of you and not trying to change the things they are responsible for that is another thing!!! My mom needs to deal with what she has done to her health and abiding her body of the years so she can live he quality of life she needs to function in her situation as much as possible!!!