I am so close to ending it I can taste it

I have been working 16-20 hours a day for 2 months. I gave everything I had up and left everything behind to work 16-20 hours a day and live in a warehouse. I’ve done my best to work as hard as I can with no fuck ups at 2-4 hours of sleep a day. Today my shipment provider told us to fuck off and now I have fallen behind yet another 5 days. My entire life I’ve had something go well and be great, then completely flip overnight. No matter how hard I work, no matter what I do, it’s never good enough, I’ve done all I can and I just can’t get it. I want to quit and ultimately kill myself however it’s only 3 people in this company. My plan is to wait ten days, see where it stands and then blow my brains out. I’ve had so many times in my life I’ve done all I could but with this I have physically fucking given it everything I had to the point of insanity. I have completely run myself dry. At 9:30pm on April 26th, if I don’t have all this shit figured out, I will write out my note, and ruin my carpets with my insides. My whole life has been this way. I’m done fighting every second of every day. I’m done giving it my all just to fail miserably.


Hey man. I know from reading your previous posts that things have been really hard lately. Dude, I am so sorry about that. I know that a lot of things are shit right now and it can often feel like there is no way out of it. But there is light in all of this darkness. Things can get better. Please keep hanging on. Your life matters, man. You matter.

If you are feeling like you may take your life, please reach out for help. You deserve to be heard and receive proper support and care if you are feeling on edge. Talk to someone. Please.

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I can feel the frustration in your post and I’m so sorry that you feel so stuck and angry. Please do what you have to in order to save your life because your life is meaningful and matters :heart: it’s true. I worked like mad for 8 years and had the kind of angry and overwhelming burnout that caused me to try to take my life a few years ago. It took time and a life changes after that but I am not in that place anymore (even though I lived in that mode for a long time). I just tell you this because I want you to know that the overwhelming feelings that you are experiencing will not be forever and relief from this feeling is possible and I know because I felt those for a long time too. Saving your own life is 1000% worth the fight to do it. Please get all the help and care that you need to.

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I appreciate your reply, it’s been utter hell 99% of my life. Never ends

hi there i know that life can ultimately suck really like you think that this is the best it will get and nothing else will come of it, but please take this in to consideration

my mom who has her own business and is going on 5 years now has another daughter, my sister who was extremely suicidal she tried multiple times and thank God it didn’t work and she is still here today and doing so much better i fact she recently got baptized and gave her testimony about that. now i don’t know if you are religious in anyway but i truly believe that you are here on this earth for a reason please please please know you are so loved and i understand life can get tough and stay that way until you think that’s all there is but please i know that there is something more for you out in the world please call and talk to someone. you are important you are loved you are here for a reason

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