Im really tired. Everyday seems to be a struggle and somethibg seems to go wrong. I found out one of my friends of 2 or 3 years just blocked me out of no where, and my only other friend has been hiding things from me and cancelling plans constantly. I found out about a relationship she had been in abd she never even told me. Everyone seems to get either bored of me or i become too much. I dont wanna be too much, im really trying my hardest to be a good person and give everyobe the benefit of the doubt, but god, its so fucking hard. I just want to scream at someone and tell them what theyve done. I dont know what i did and i wish i did know so i could fix it, i dont want to be the problem, i dont want to be the reason people keep leaving. I want to be okay. People are starting to tell me that im visibly exhausted and that makes me feel even worse. I feel like my heads in overdrive and one more thing is gonna shove me over the edge. I really just wabt a fucking break and i dont wanna feel like this anymore. The more people leave the more i loose myself and i dont have much left, if anything. Im so fucking lonely and im so sorry.
Hi Hailey, I’m sorry to hear about your friends leaving you and just acting shady. I know what it’s like to feel alone. I feel the same way but for different reasons. You sound like a nice person and you don’t deserve that kind of treatment. You deserve friends who are happy to be around you.
Could you bring this up to your friends and ask if you’ve done anything to cause them to distance themselves? It doesn’t have to be a confrontation. You could ask them over text maybe if that would be easier.
@haileyyy_05 I’m so sorry that things are rough for you again (or still). Having friends ghost or block you when you don’t understand why is so painful and lonely. Trying to maintain a friendship when you don’t know what might go wrong to cause that friendship to fail can be horribly tiring. When you start second guessing yourself all the time and are always trying to not be “that person” - you will become exhausted. It’s not easy trying to be what you think others expect of you and it means you are not being the real you. You deserve and should be the real you. It’s hard to be the real you though when you feel like every new friendship you make could end without warning. When you don’t trust others to be their real, authentic selves, or you are afraid to be your authentic self - it can be a form of sabotage that you don’t realize is happening.
You my friend, deserve to have real friends who like the real you. You are a caring person or this wouldn’t be bothering you. So can I ask if you ever did sign up to see a therapist, got on one of those waiting lists to eventually get started? If you haven’t, please do. It’s worth the wait. Please don’t wait to come back and let us know how you are doing. You matter. You are loved.
From Lisalovesfeathers: Hi Friend, Im so sorry you are feeling so lonely an unhappy, you have come to the right place, this is one place where you will never feel lonesome. On reading your post the first thing that came to mind was, Ask! you are so unhappy and questioning everything that people that supposedly care about you are saying and doing that in the end those friendships will become toxic so what have you got to lose? Sit them down as you see them (not in a big group, that would be overwhelming) and just ask if there is a problem and that if there is you would really like to know so that it can be sorted and fixed so that your friendships can return to how you want them to be. You are torturing yourself and it could be that the people you speak of are completely unaware of your feelings or a problem. Of course I could be wrong and there may be so issues but as you say, you cannot fix them if you are not aware of them. I hope you can get something sorted out and that you start to feel better. In the meantime we are all here if you need us. Much Love Lisa. x