You don’t bother anyone. This is a place where you can share everything you want and there will always be people around to show you some support or share about similar experiences.
Of course you deserve to have friends. You deserve to see that you are loved and cared for. No matter what mistakes you’ve done, we’re just all human beings and sometimes we don’t behave the way we’d like to. Mistakes happen, we all do some, and it’s important to learn from them. The very fact that you try to improve yourself and not to repeat the same thing shows how much you care about others and are willing to do the right thing.
You are not “the worst”. You are human. And we’re full of imperfections. Learning to forgive yourself and not repeat the same mistakes will help you to grow. And you know, when we have a lot of insecurities, it can be easier to actually make some mistakes because we’re divided between mixed feelings. If that’s something you could consider, I can only encourage you to seek some professional help. Therapy can be really helpful when it’s about working on your own insecurities. Also, know that you’ll always be free to share about anything here and you won’t ever be judged for that.
You have friends right here in this community to support you and help you to go through this. You are not alone.