I am tired of holding it together

I am just here. Existing. At least that’s what it feels like lately. I am really struggling. My stress and anxiety has been so over the top for the last few months. My head is about to explode. My chest is so tight again daily and I have to remind myself to breath. I had a baby 7 months ago and this happened for my first child. I became this crazed maniac for about a year and a half. Here we are again. Its not post partum but its real whatever it is. Has anyone else that have had kids experienced this? I already have severe anxiety but i can’t sleep even when the baby is sleeping anymore. I am a mess.

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Yeah dude, it took Taylor and I like two years to work through our anxiety around our twins. It felt like we had PTSD anytime they cried. It was really brutal. I can still feel the grip on my chest thinking back to those days. You’re not crazy for feeling this. Unfortunately, I didn’t really have any solutions in the moment…it just took time. One of the things Taylor and I tried to focus on in the moment was we tried to capture the moments where our anxieties weren’t true…like when we were anxious about going to sleep because we feared they were going to wake up…when we had a good night, it was important for us to capture that thought and say – it’s not every night that we’re going to be afraid. Or when they had a good day and didn’t cry all the time…we had to grab hold of that and erode the lie that things were always going to be this way, to chip away at that anxiety, to take back control of our thoughts and emotions.

The good news is that you already know that this is just a tunnel…there is light at the end of it, you will make it to the end of it…and knowing that you actually can afford yourself some grace – you don’t have to be perfect during this season…it is just that – a season…you’ll come out the other side with more margin, more strength, more capability…and it’s okay that in this season, you’re just holding on for dear life, ha. That a clean sink may feel like too much to lift for today. You’re not alone in that.

One recommendation I’d have for you is to find a local MOPS group (Mothers of Preschoolers). It’s something that really changed the game for Taylor, finding community of people in the same season.

https://www.mops.org/groupsearch/index.php

Hope this helps :slight_smile:
You’re doing better than you think. That’s always the case, ha.

-Nate

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Thank you so much! That did help. ALOT. And y’all did it with 2 babies! Blows my mind. I will start to focus on more of the good nights. Like last night was good. I found out since this post that she is cutting 4 teeth at once! That would explain part of her grumpiness. My anxiety has been minimal this week. Just takes time like you said. :heart:

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Proud of you @Charrabeans