Staff Edit from @NateTriesAgain:
You’re not crazy if you struggle to see a point in staying alive. If you landed here from Google, I want you to know you’re not alone. You can find our best content on suicidal thoughts here:
Hold fast. We believe in you.
I’ve been stuck in a pretty dark place for a few months now. My best friend has been here for me and talking me out a few times. But I dont want to keep putting all my problems on him. In my mind it all feels like way too much but then I tell him and it just seems stupid. Hes really good about it. I tell him I feel like it’s stupid and dumb and he tells me it’s not. But, I feel like it is. I will be ok but later on I start listening to the voice in the back of my head and it gets worse and worse. Mg mind is just a mess. I’m so stressed out about every little thing. And nothing anyone says seems to help. It just seems to make it all worse. I’m not suicidal but I just dont want to be alive anymore if that makes sense. Like if i died I’d be ok with that. My dad died a year ago in September and most of the time I wish i could switch places with him. I know my fx family loves me but I just feel so distant from them. I feel like they dont care. Like no one notices that I’m not ok. Yhat I’m just really good at hiding that i am dying inside. I’ve been so triggered to cut. I started bruising myself by pinching again. I havent self harmed since 2014… but I relapsed and I’m so ashamed of myself. But if feels like when everything seems to be wrong I feel i have to do it. I’m just tired. I’m tired of battling myself. I’m tired of trying to explain to my husband how I feel and tired of being angry when he tries to understand but it’s not even remotely close to what I feel. I’m tired of being so stressed that I cant sleep. Tired of being me. Tired of constantly chasing people out of my life with how I am. I’m tired of living…