I came out as gay to my mom 4 days ago. She was supportive of me and promised not to tell my dad so that was nice. What wasn’t very cool about it was that immediately afterwards she asked i was molested and covered for my dad saying that"he wasn’t necessarily for gay people but he wasn’t homophobic". I’m not sure how to feel. It was a successful coming out but i still have to come out as a crossdresser and my dad has shown his massive distaste for trans people and i don’t feel like he would differentiate between trans and crossdresser so that is still looming but its been nice to post after some time. In sure my mom would support me but I’m also sure that she would be very childish about it like she always is.
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There are a fair amount of people that are homosexual and transexual who are molested, so her intentions may have been supportive and more inquisitive rather than meaning to be offensive. Perhaps she will be willing to listen compared to a lot of parents who wouldn’t give their kids the time of day?
Thanks for sharing, Mega_mind9. That’s really awesome that you were able to come out and got at least some support. I can totally understand how you felt about the molestation question. Being gay isn’t something that happens as a result of being molested. Maybe that’s what your mom was trying to figure out rather than fully accepting you as the person you are. I don’t really know, but maybe that’s something you can ask her next?
It’s amazing that you’ve chosen to come out to your parents, well done @Mega_mind9. I imagine how scary that must have - just to not know in advance what their reaction would have been, and whether or not it would have impacted your relationship with them. This is definitely a strong move and a beautiful way to free yourself from any fear or stigma that can weigh on us.
It sounds like your parents reacted well overall, although they might still have things to learn over time. For now this news is recent to them, and their immediate reaction might reveal that they don’t know well what it means to be gay, trans or crossdressing. If you feel like they are open to listening in general and seeking to understand, then there might be room for open and helpful conversations over time. To help them understand things with more subteltly and more nuance, progressively. A lot of parents out there who love their children have also learned more about sexual and gender differences because they love their child and want to support them. Which goes with more dialogue and better understanding them. Just with the question your mom asked you, she likely didn’t realize that this question carries wrong perceptions/stigma, and only had good/mom intentions by asking you this.
Their reactions are clumsy but they seem to come out of good intentions and genuine love for you. It’s probably worth discussing and clarifying over time, but on the whole it sounds like they support you and just that can become a real strength to utilize, for all of you, in the way you communicate over time and learn to understand each other better. 