I can’t control these emotions anymore

I message my ex friend last I told that was upset that she was not there for my aunt passing. I told her she lost a true friend.

She said “ im sorry for your lost and I’m sorry was not there for you. I wish you the best and take care of yourself” I’m kinda power slaying it.

I kept message her acouple and I ask did I had hurt her. She never responded. Then she block me.

Im so heartbroken, I can’t control these emotions anymore. I think about killing myself or getting revenge on her. I try to forgive, but I’m so hurt that can’t control my emotions. This why I can’t be involved with another woman in my life. This worst emotion thing I have ever go through. I don’t believed in love or friendship anymore.

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