For the past 3 years I’ve struggled with self-portrayal to the point of self-deprecation. Everyone tells me that they want me around and that I’m this good guy but I feel like it’s not true and they really just can’t wait for me to leave. I don’t feel like a good guy at all. I’ve wronged so many people and it weighs down on me every day. So many regrets and so many people that I can’t even say sorry to anymore. The weight drags me down every day to where I don’t want to get out of bed and face the day for fear of failing another person that cared so deeply about me. I feel like my family is indifferent to where it wouldn’t matter if I was here or not. And if the ones who are supposed to be there for me no matter what aren’t there then who is there? I feel worthless and without place. Expendable to those around me.
Remember that your happiness comes before anyone else. Listen to those who compliment you, they say you’re a good guy and that they want you around for a reason. And you will always have someone there for you whether it’s in person or online. Humans were not meant to be lonely, which is why there are 7 billion of us.
That negativity that you feel is from yourself, if you asked someone close to you like a family member if you mattered to them I know for a fact they care for you. When someone says something nice about you take it and hold onto it and tell yourself to keep going because no matter what you think you do matter and people want you here. Start treating yourself well, start by telling yourself simple complements and progress from there. That shows you that you are so much more than flaws and he negative you focus on.