If I were to write down my life story it would be a novel series. I am just at the very wits end of it all. I am far, far beyond my breaking point and then some… I hate myself. I hate who I have become. I have no life left in me anymore. I don’t even care about myself, I don’t care about what happens to me. I drink and do drugs every single day to numb the pain, and even that is not helping me anymore. I have been falling for so long… I feel like I can see the bottom coming, and it’s coming fast…
I feel like a failure, and a complete disappointment… I am only 24 and I just don’t want to hurt any more. I am so broken. I am so shattered. I don’t know what to do… sleeping doesn’t give me any relief, I see it all in my nightmares too… just to wake back up to my actual nightmare all over again… sometimes I wish that I do not wake up again…
I feel completely
And utterly
Hopeless. 
I feel the same way but in my heart of hearts I have hope that it will get better because it cant get much worse. It seems as though we’ve hit rock bottom. If you need it I can be your friend and try to help you feel less depressed, its what I want for myself and so I think I should help because if we were to spend 10 minutes each day helping someone else eventually the world would be alot better for everyone
Hey man, whatever it is you’re feeling be mindful that if you continue you’ll only make yourself worse in the long run
It’s totally normal to be learning things in your 20’s so don’t loose motivation,
I don’t know what brought you to this point but you’re not alone in this world
Please don’t loose incentive to change my friend 
Hey!
Yeah that really sucks. Everyday you’re in pain and it feels like nothing you do ever really helps you escape that pain. You don’t feel good enough and feel like a failure. You’re tired and feel broken and not even sleep feels like relief anymore. You’re so tired of it all and just don’t want to go on.
That’s really rough, and right now how you’re feeling is completely understandable. Life hurts and it’s been that way for so long that you probably can’t remember anything else. When you’ve been stuck in the same nightmare for so long, it’s almost impossible to see how things could ever change, and so naturally instead you’d rather just not go on living this nightmare. I get it, and right now it actually seems to make a lot of sense. But I do want to say that just because something seems to make a lot of sense right now, doesn’t mean that will always be the case. Things can change.
I don’t know everything that you’re going through right now and I’m not going to pretend I know how difficult it is right now for you, but I do know painful and messy life can be. For years and years I struggled with depression, anxiety, self-loathing and self-harm. I felt like my life was only ever going to be pain and felt like such a failure and so tried to kill myself again and again. I know how scary and painful life can be sometimes, and I know when you’re in that place it doesn’t feel like things can ever get better. But they can. My life isn’t what it was a few years ago. It doesn’t mean I don’t still struggle or have bad days, but I have a genuine joy and hope I didn’t have then. It’s not easy and it doesn’t happen right away but things can change.
I don’t know you and I don’t know your story but I’d like to. Life is tough but you never have to walk it alone.
You’re not a failure or a disappointment. You’re not too broken or too far gone. There is always hope.
Hold fast, we believe in you.
- Nathanael
Thank you… thank you so much. I really really would love to talk with you more. The amount of time and effort you put into this just for me says so much. I don’t even know how to describe the way I feel. (And all the replies. It really makes me happier inside to know that complete strangers are rooting for me. This forum is amazing. Wow. Thank you all.)
Thank you so much. Of course I will be your friend. 
Hey friend,
You’re being really hard on yourself right now. I know that you are facing some hardships right now but that doesn’t mean that you are a failure or a disappointment.
You’re a human. We all have things we need to improve upon. We all have things in our life that we could change.
But I want to remind you that you still matter. You are still important. Your journey matters. The challenges you face matter. What you are feeling in this moment matters.
No judgement. None of this takes away from your value as a person. Nor does it rob you of being worthy of love.
Small steps my friend. Do you think that maybe attending AA or NA meetings could be beneficial to you? To be surrounded by others who are walking a similar journey that could help you work through these challenges?
Maybe it could be worth looking into this. I know with quarantine that going to physical meetings may not be possible right now, but I’m sure there are support groups you could be a part of. 
Hey, you are okay friend. You can get through this. What are some small steps you can take to work towards overcoming these things? Do you need a place of encouragement?
You can join us on discord. I promise you are not the only one who battles with these things.
Come connect with us. You do not have to go at this alone. There is a whole community here. We all have our different journey. And we’re all just trying to stick together as we work through them.
You can also join us on stream:
Be gentle with yourself friend.
Hey Ktinytott!
Really great to hear back from you! I’d really love that too and am always here if you want to talk about anything! My email is [email protected] if you’d rather email me at any point. I’m really glad that our replies could make you feel a little better. We’re all rooting for you. We think you’re amazing and you’re not alone in this.
Always here if you need anything.
Hold fast, we believe in you.
-Nathanael