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I can’t help myself

I can’t seem to feel better no matter how hard I try. It all ends the same. I almost tried to kill myself last night. Luckily I fell asleep before I could make the decision. God’s hand is on me. Sometimes I don’t understand why I have to be here to suffer, but I wish I could just get away from the pain. Nothing in my life right now gives me joy. I’m completely drained.

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Hey friend,

I just read and answered your other post… I’m truly sorry you’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts. But also glad that you are here with us and alive. I hear your exhaustion and your pain. And I want to encourage you to reach out to someone or your family/parents if you feel okay with this. I know it’s really scary to say “I’m not okay”, especially if you expect to be misunderstood. But you don’t have to stay alone with your thoughts and your pain. How you feel right now is not meant to be this way forever. You will get through it.

If things get really dark again, please reach out to a crisis line and keep the following informations with you anyway:

I’ve been where you are. Very tired, desperate, hopeless. Though I know disappearing is a seducing idea, it is not the solution my friend. This world needs you. We need you. And we’re in this with you.

I’m sending hugs to you. Hang in there.

PS - A little video that I hope will help cheer you up and bring a bit of hope to your heart today. :hrtlegolove:

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@Fuzziestofponds I’m so glad that you’re still here and that God’s hand was on you that night. I have been there before where I was so exhausted and drained that I made plans to end my life. It is absolutely horrible to feel stuck in that endless cycle :broken_heart: but I want to remind you that it’s not going to be an endless cycle and you won’t always feel that way. You will be able to experience joy again. You will be able to smile and experience a rested soul. Your life matters and I know that your future is worth fighting for! As someone who is now suicide ideation free for a whole year, I can tell you that things can change for the better. Right now you’re in a very hard place and your mind is heavy but you can get through this. And you don’t have to get through it alone.
We are here for you and we care about you. You’re incredible and unique and so strong.
Please do whatever you have to in order to keep yourself here with us and just take it all one day at a time. Reach out to the resources that Micro posted, call someone, whatever it takes.

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