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I can’t live up to my parents expectations

Am I not good enough for my parents? I ask this almost everyday. My dad says I can’t do anything when I don’t find the thing he wants, or if I don’t do anything quickly enough. My mom threatens to shave my head when I don’t brush it and it gets tangled. Stuff like that. They criticize me almost every day, and I hate it. It makes me feel worthless, I know I’m enough. But I’m starting to believe I aren’t.

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Hey friend,

I’m sorry. That sounds kinda rough. I guess its natural to a parents nature to tell us kids to brush our hair and keep good hygiene. And maybe sometimes don’t realize how hurtful it can be on our self esteem. I’m sure your parents love you very much and don’t mean to hurt you. Have you tried to pull mom and dad aside and just gently and respectfully tell them that it hurts your feelings a bit when they say stuff like that? Maybe if you have a patient heart to heart you guys can work on better ways of communicating to one another.

I think sometimes too that when parents are frustrated, that they say things that don’t actually mean. They spout hurtful things in the moment before thinking about how that reaction may feel. We all do that as humans. Just means that maybe it needs to be talked about. “Hey, dad, it really hurts my feelings when you say I can’t do anything.” and maybe talk to him about trying to find another way to communicate to you. Again, be patient and respectful. Parents are more apt to hear you out if you talk kindly and not lash out <3. And more likely to respond positively to what you are asking.

You ARE good enough. You ARE more than enough. Sounds like maybe communication just needs to be talked about. If everyone puts in effort, things could be handled a little better and less hurtful <3

Stay strong friend.

  • Kitty
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You are absolutely worth it. One of the hardest things in life is to walk through the world with your head down. You are worthy because you are here and you are doing all that you can to stay here. Try thinking about whether you are good enough for YOU. At the end of the day that is what matters; how YOU see yourself. I am sure you are absolutely amazing. Keep going and remember it is okay to ask yourself that everyday but always remember to remind yourself of the answer- yes, you are good enough. <3

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 Many controlling/critical parents act the way you are describing. There many motives behind it but you dont know unless they tell you. They may not even know there doing it and may think they're actually helping (which I hope is the case). Or they just may be projecting their insecurities onto you. 
Like the others who responded in this post, try to talk to your parents. Just remember to not sound combative/defensive because it may illicit a bad response with them. Come with a game plan and be patient and calm with your tone. If talking doesnt help you can reach back here for more advice or gain professional help.
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From: alexgamer_hameowlton

Hey, it will get better in the future! Right now I’m struggling with living up to my parent’s expectations, but I’m sure we’ll make it through! Just keep fighting and just know we have your back! If you need to, you can message me here and we can talk! You got this! I believe in you! <3 -alexgamer_haMeowlton (soon to be snowflake_blossom) on twitch

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@AlanyG ,
just wanted to know you are enough . for me my mom back then jokingly called me a piece of shit out of pure love … yet now i chose to ignore what she had told me. but also when it came to my tutor i felt like she didnt know about my disorder . yet the tutor made me feel like crap you are not alone. but at the end of the day we need to fight we need. thanks for reaching out we love you friend

also , What i also suggest is speaking up because if you dont speak up what is being said will keep being said and will cause you to run out of energy mentally and physically . everyone deserves to have a good life every one deserves to have a chance. we are allowed to mess up but after awhile the behavior isnt healthy.

i hope this helps

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So this one is hard because in some ways I understand the parents being harsh to try and make their child become a better person, and do the right things. There is no right way and no innate knowledge on how to parent and this is where it gets rough for most people. Because there’s a fine line here. Being too harsh as a parent can become toxic parenting. (over bearing, authoritative parenting, narcissitic parenting, emotionally abusive etc) Somethings I went through etc. Look them up and if your parents check off on those types of parenting definitely seek some outside help. I don’t know all your situation but I do know that the things they have said to you and done, have hurt you. Going forward it would be a good idea to sit down and talk to your parents about how the things they say hurt your feelings. If they don’t respond or continue, talk to a therapist or trusted adult. Because maybe some of the things they’re doing is detrimental to your mental health and not acceptable. No parent should make you feel worthless. No parent should threaten you with abuse if you are having a hard time. That’s not right and that’s not being a good parent. I want you to know that you’re not alone. I’ve been through it. I still deal with some of the things that were said and done to me on the regular. But you can get through it. You can find happiness and live a relatively healthy life. Regardless of what your parents may have said or done to you. You are strong. You are beautiful. And you are Worth it!!! <3

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This post relates to me a lost. My father would treat me like this. After a while I wrote down the things he said and did and when he got bad I would threaten to call the police tell him he was abusing me and that I had proof. I tried to talk to him and tell this how badly it was effecting me and he didn’t care. Right now you may feel like you’re being beaten down with the way you’re being treated. But you have to stand up and show that you’re stronger than their words. Love you friend, Hold Fast

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@AlanyG

We spoke about your topic on my stream today, I hope you find some encouragement in our conversation.

Also, If you’d like the art, I would love to send it to you. Please email me: [email protected]

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Just remember you are far from worthless!! You are strong to endure what your going though!! I believe that as long as you have breath you have a purpose and a chance to do great things! If you want whenever they do criticize you, you can say something positive to yourself about yourself. I am sorry that your parents are causing you to feel this way. As someone else stated it in the comments, it does sound like your parents could be projecting their own insecurities onto you. Just remember you can only be the best YOU possible, even if your parents do not show it or say it you are loved.

God bless, if you did not know I want to tell you Jesus loves you and your never alone hes always there for you. John 3:16 " For God so loved the world that he sent his one and only son that whoever shall believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life"

I was raised by a father who was in the military and was a cop. Whenever we would argue he would call law enforcement on me and tell me what an embarrassment I was. He loved ridiculing me in front of people.
As i grew older i realised it wasn’t me that was the problem. It was him. He saw himself in me. Many abusive parents are that way. Look at it in terms of pity, not that you are better than them. But the fact you are able to rise above it and know it is them whom are actually the problem.

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