It’s 9:30 AM. I haven’t slept.
My brain won’t shut off. I’ve been responding to the forums and my DM all night and morning to pass the time away and give me something to do. My body is in a lot of pain. I’ve been fighting off nightmares this entire last week.
Trying to make myself do things so I don’t fall back into isolation now that I’ve been home for almost a month. I can feel myself slipping. Bought some art supplies so I can start creating again. It’s been since June since I’ve created anything.
Mind is spiraling.
Stressed about a lot of things.
I had a post written up about why. But I deleted it. I don’t think I’m ready to open publicly with it.
I’m just really lethargic, fatigued, low energy and beside myself a lot lately and not sure what to do with it.
Try getting whatever sleep you can. Even a bunch of 15 minute naps is better than nothing.
Maybe getting back to art will help as well, if you use it as a method to relieve your stress. I bake bread and that helps me, so art may do the same for you.
Last thing: try meditating, I find that it helps me get to sleep easier.
Stay strong: you are loved
I’ve been stuck with the same nightmare over the last week or so, I would go to bed and every night it would be the same thing over and over… I spoke with Casey about it, and he recommended changing up the time i go to bed, change routine etc… but honestly, after speaking about it and opening up about it with him, i haven’t had it again… Just talking to 1 person because i didnt want to make it public really helped and for me, actually stopped it.
n regards to posting on the support wall - I was there… For months I was ont he support wall replying to every post that was made. but it wasnt until months later i felt the burn out affect of it… then… it happened again with the warped tour posts. I replied to nearly 200 posts within 7 days… then wondered why i had no energy and slipping back into self harming etc
You’re not alone friend.
I love you.
Thanks for responding and the encouragement. You didn’t have to cover that on stream!! That was thoughtful of you. Love you friends. As far as the burn out. I’m not actually experiencing burn out on the wall. Though people frequently bring it up to me since I’m on here so much. Something I’m very stern about with myself is not over doing it on the internet including the forums. If I’m not feeling mentally able to handle the posts and responding, I don’t. I’ve definitely guilted about not posting on my volunteer day, but I was able to let that go after Kayla gave me some really good perspective. But as far as burning myself out, I won’t allow myself to do that.
I primarily post on the wall during breaks through out my day. In my pause and being in between things. It’s just a place for me to relax for a minute and help someone out.
My largest response threads are in the nights when I’m anxious and can’t sleep. When I’m just laying here going crazy because my body won’t cooperate. So responding to the wall allows me to put my brain somewhere. While using some energy to write to hopefully finally get sleepy. It’s a healthy thing.
I try to promote healthy posting on the wall as you guys do. I often am on sometimes more than others because I do not go to school and I do not work. So I have a lot of free time. But I’m sure to be careful with my mental health. Thank you for caring
I still haven’t slept but I hope that means that I’ll go to bed tonight at a normal time and wake up at a more normal time since I’ve been in this weird stay up till 3-8 AM funk. Maybe I’ll finally flip my schedule since it’s been a mess since around June.
Love you guys!