Hi, my name is Vanessa. I’m 14 years old. I’m struggling with self harm. 7 months ago I had something happen to me that I won’t share on here because I don’t want to. My best friend betrayed me and hurt me. I’ve closed myself in and haven’t let anyone in because I don’t want to get hurt again. I’ve only told four people, my mom, my two best friends, and my cousin. There’s another person that knows only because it slipped out. Ever since that day my best friend betrayed me and everything went down hill. That day was painful, it really was. I had that mental and physical pain that has lasted a really long time. I self harmed and thought hey this works I don’t feel bad anymore. Self harming turned into days weeks and months. I have found it difficult to stop. Not only am I going thorough this but I’m going to through stress, depression, and anxiety. It’s been a difficult battle. There’s only one person who understands me and that’s my best friend. She has helped me through the hard times. I want to give up and not do anything else. I’ve been told that I can’t give up and that I shouldn’t do this to myself. I haven’t really found ways to cope with self harm. I wish I could stop. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts. I kind of don’t want it fight this battle anymore.
Hi Vanessa,
It sounds like right now the world feels so dark. Something bad happened to you and there are people who should have been there for you, but instead they hurt you. It’s a betrayal that hurts so deeply. And sometimes that hurt makes us believe that the only help and healing we can find is in hurting ourselves. But I want you to know that that isn’t true. It will take time and it will take good relationships like your friend and (possibly your mom I’m not sure what your relationship with her is but if it’s okay communicate with your mom) to help you through these dark times. I suffered from self harm for a long time. There really isn’t an easy fix to stop. It can become this cycle and it’s really hard to break. But one thing that always helped me was opening up either on here or opening up with people I love and trust. Our depression and pain can make us believe that harming ourselves is the only way out. But our good friends can help point out those lies and tell us truths! And the truth I’ll tell you is that you are worth love and life. The truth is that you are not broken and you are stronger than you know. Hold fast, we believe in you.
Love,
Cassie
ps. If you aren’t already you should check out our discord! If you ever need to just talk to someone or some people there are a bunch of people on that platform as well from here. We’d love to send you more love and encouragement
Hey Vanessa,
I plan to respond more thoroughly when I get home but I just want you to know that you are loved and you are not alone. Here is a link to the heart support book called Rewrite that is about self harm and how to heal and find healthy ways to cope. To someone who’s struggled with self harm for several years now it helped me so much and it’s helped me so much. Click this link and you can just put in your address and they will send you a free copy of the book.
https://heartsupport-merch.myshopify.com/products/send-me-a-rewrite-book
Please remember you are loved and wanted here and not alone.
Hold Fast, You’re Worth It
Monkey
Hey Vanessa. It’s important to know that you can ask for help. You are not alone, I promise. One of the biggest steps you’ve already surpassed, you’ve admitted that you need help. There’s a write by the name of Neil Hillborn, you can find him on Spotify and Youtube, who speaks a lot about this kind of stuff and it helps me a lot. I would try and find someone you can speak to on a regular basis about this kind of stuff. It’s really intense to cope with and I tried to do it myself when I was around your age and it was really hard. I’m glad you’re pushing through this, keep up the good work. This is one of Hillborn’s most powerful quotes in my opinion.
"Whatever you’re feeling right now, there is a mathematical certainty that someone else is feeling that exact thing.
This is not to say you’re not special;
this is to say thank God you aren’t special.”
This Is Not The End Of The World - Neil Hillborn.
I recommend listening to the whole thing and also giving A Series Of Short Poems a listen. Even if writing/reading is not your thing you’d be surprised what you can get out of them.
Hey, My name is Emma. I’ve been self harming obsessively since I was nine. Last year it got the worst its ever been. Hundreds of new scars pretty much every day. But one year later I only self harm about every two weeks. And that doesn’t seem like a huge difference, but trust me it is. Know that you have the ability, Self harm is terrible. Its actually an addiction just like drug use. And just like drugs, its a long rocky, road to recovery. But you have the strength to go through with it. You will be ok. Just hold on.
Hey @Vanessa here is my video response from my live stream today. I would love to send you this art and a note with some stickers as well if you’d like. Message me here or email me [email protected] Hold Fast.