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I can’t talk about what I can’t explain

Hi all I am new to this group
29year old single mum to the most amazing little girl…everything showily be good right…,

WRONG!!!

So for the longest time now I have had this stomach churning feeling like a constant feeling of needing to be sick, but not physically being sick, and I can’t shake it.

I’m not the best person to be able to open up to people but here goes nothing…

So for quite a few months now, I have felt this desire to disappear and run from the life I am living, some moments of the day I can say I feel OK, Not happy but just content to get me through what I have to get done, I could be ok for ages and then all of a sudden from nowhere, it’s like a dark cloud suck me in and I can’t seem to think straight, my mind starts racing at 1000mph and every emotion just fills my body, and I can’t work out what it wants to do, does it want to cry, does it want to hurt me, does it want to do something just to make it all STOP?? Take the pain away?? Lately I seem to hit these low points quite frequently throughout the day, I feel like My body is frozen in time but my brain is doing so much overtime, that I just want to run away from myself. No matter what I do I can’t shake the feelings and emotions that are now filling my body/mind. I’m physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted, I can’t get even bring myself to complete the simplest of tasks, it’s really starting to have a big impact on my day to day life and I feel like I’m going insane, the only way I can think to explain it is, it’s like a black out, but I’m fully with it feeling everything but can’t control anything, and I don’t know what to do, it gets so bad and to the point I want to make it all stop, make it go away forever, leaving me feeling there is only one way out, only one way to finally feel free from my own mind!!!
Every little thing is getting to me, and it’s not the person I want to be but I don’t know how to stop it,

I can’t explain it in any other way, if I could just understand why I’m feeling this way I could try and fix it but I can’t,

Please help me

Hey there friend, thanks for joining and being brave enough to talk about these things. I know it can be SO hard dealing with those kinds of feelings and actions, as I’ve felt them many of times, even sometimes when you know the things you need to do to make you happy, or to make things different but still for some reason you can’t do them. Obviously you want to be happy, you want to not feel pain.

I encourage you to reach out to us, as we’re all here to help. Keep your head up, and once again, thank you for coming here to post that.

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@Jo379,
Thanks for opening up! I know it’s no fun to tell people about what’s going on, but I hope in that process you were at least able to let some of the struggle out and see it differently.
For me, I can understand your idea of suddenly the world goes dark and you don’t know what to do. I get like that sometimes and I don’t have a solution for it, it’s just something that I end up trying to acknowledge and piece together. I think it helps sometimes to take a step back from yourself and work out one thing at a time.
I get the normal tasks being a pain. They are. They suck sometimes. But, for me, if I pull a Shia LeBouf and just do it, I end up feeling a little better, even if I hate doing it in the moment.
Not sure if you’ve found the books that are offered through Heartsupport: Rewrite and Dwarf Planet, but those might be something to look into. It might help give some insight to where your feeling are coming from. Of course, this is all just a suggestion.
I hope you are able to make it through the rough patches and find a way to deal with at least a few of the crappy parts! :upside_down_face:
And to echo @513Kernal: Keep your head up. We’re here to listen.

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Firstly you had the courage to reach out to us here. I just want to let you know that everyone has highs and lows but sometimes the lows out weigh the highs. Keep reaching out to us but also reach to a therapist or counsellor to help find out what is wrong.

Hold fast I believe in you

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Hey @Jo379,

I’m so sorry to hear about the negative feelings that you’re experiencing. Anxiety is a tricky monster to tackle. Some days you’ll be fine and then some days out of NOWHERE, anxiety will rise up and attack you with physical symptoms such as racing thoughts, fidgeting, body chills, difficulty falling asleep/staying asleep, tightness in your head and chest, lack of appetite, and nausea. Anxiety and depression go hand-in-hand so you could also be experiencing fatigue, lack of interest (severe apathy), feelings of hopelessness, etc. I always recommend seeking professional help, such as finding a counselor that you connect with, and if needed, a psychiatrist as well (to help re-balance your brain chemistry). In the meantime, try implementing the following healthy habits into your life:

  • Take deep breaths (“4-7-8 Method”)
  • Take herbal mood-enhancing tablets
  • Get enough sleep (go to bed early)
  • Watch/listen to your favorite comedian
  • Download Headspace/Breathe (iOS aps)
  • Activate essential oil diffuser (lavender) & mood lights
  • Temporarily change music to something relaxing (i.e. Hammock)

I hope this helps!

-Eric

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Hey @Jo379,

First of all you have made a huge step reaching out.

I had a similar issue when my little boy was born but I couldn’t be left alone in a room with him for his own safety and mine.

As of recent I’ve been suffering from panic attacks and it sounds similar to what I have like, it feels like you are in a sauna room and you can see the door but can’t reach it to get our right? At least that’s what it’s like for me anyway and it paralyzes me and makes me feel ill and not able to eat properly.

I have tried to rationalize it and it’s hard I would say reaching out and doing what you have done already is a good way to start.

Power to you

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I feel this way too , honnestly was scared I was going crazy because I had no idea how to look up something I couldn’t explain the feeling of and was to scared to try and explain to dr.s because if they dont understand it who’s to say they wont just throw me in the funny farm . I dont know if you have any other issues going on other than just this but I think mine is hormone related, money’s on thyroid issues. Maybe your hormones are a bit out of whack too. Look into it and if your having other symptoms too that line up with that as a possibility dont go to a normal dr go to a endocrinologist because I have been to dozens or family drs and normal family drs dont know much about hormones and how much and badly it can affect you and they will just dismiss alot of isuse. Good luck and hope your feeling better. Just remember your not crazy and this will pass

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