Hi all I am new to this group
29year old single mum to the most amazing little girl…everything showily be good right…,
So for the longest time now I have had this stomach churning feeling like a constant feeling of needing to be sick, but not physically being sick, and I can’t shake it.
I’m not the best person to be able to open up to people but here goes nothing…
So for quite a few months now, I have felt this desire to disappear and run from the life I am living, some moments of the day I can say I feel OK, Not happy but just content to get me through what I have to get done, I could be ok for ages and then all of a sudden from nowhere, it’s like a dark cloud suck me in and I can’t seem to think straight, my mind starts racing at 1000mph and every emotion just fills my body, and I can’t work out what it wants to do, does it want to cry, does it want to hurt me, does it want to do something just to make it all STOP?? Take the pain away?? Lately I seem to hit these low points quite frequently throughout the day, I feel like My body is frozen in time but my brain is doing so much overtime, that I just want to run away from myself. No matter what I do I can’t shake the feelings and emotions that are now filling my body/mind. I’m physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted, I can’t get even bring myself to complete the simplest of tasks, it’s really starting to have a big impact on my day to day life and I feel like I’m going insane, the only way I can think to explain it is, it’s like a black out, but I’m fully with it feeling everything but can’t control anything, and I don’t know what to do, it gets so bad and to the point I want to make it all stop, make it go away forever, leaving me feeling there is only one way out, only one way to finally feel free from my own mind!!!
Every little thing is getting to me, and it’s not the person I want to be but I don’t know how to stop it,
I can’t explain it in any other way, if I could just understand why I’m feeling this way I could try and fix it but I can’t,
Please help me