she has borderline but does not know it yet … it has been done a few months ago, but I cannot understand how she was able to treat me so horribly
I was manipulated, blamed and treated like a lot of dirt but still I stood there.
I feel myself going under, and all the scary thoughts are coming back and feeling more and more real …
i dont know what to do anymore
Thank you for sharing.
If the person you’re speaking about hasn’t been diagnosed then I would urge you not to make the assumption that she has BPD, at least I am going to assume she hasn’t been diagnosed from your wording.
BUT regardless, no one should ever treat you poorly. You deserve to be treated with love and kindness. I am sorry that your relationship, whatever kind it was, with this person affected you so deeply. Have you thought of speaking to a professional about this or about what you’re feeling?
We are always here for you. Remember that how anyone treats you does not define you or your self worth.
Hold Fast,
Hannah Presley
Hi Spyro,
You know, I can relate so much to these questions.There have been a lot of people in my life, family, friends and relationships that have hurt me in ways I will never understand. I have been degraded, betrayed, lied to, manipulated and treated in ways that were so hurtful there were many times I fell into a very dark place.
I questions myself and my worth. I wondered if I deserved it.
But you know what? Yes, it hurts and it seriously sucks. But you deserve so much more. You are so much more important and valued than this person has shown you. Your feelings are valid. I’m sorry that they hurt you so badly.
There will be times in our life where we just wont be able to understand why some people do things. And there will be times where we will wish that people would apologize and recognize their hurtful ways and they don’t. I’ve been there so many times. But that doesn’t take away from your worth as a person.
It takes time to heal from the hurt people cast upon us. And that’s okay. Just remember to try not to let it consume you whole. Fight! Please keep fighting.Talk to someone if you need to. A friend. A therapist. A pastor…or just keep sharing here on the wall with us and let us offer you words of encouragement.
I know it may not feel like it right now, but things can get better my friend. Just surround yourself with people that uplift you, encourage you and bring you up. Surround yourself with healthy people and things that make you happy. Do things that you enjoy, whatever that may be. Focus on those things. In time, it will heal. And better people will come along.
Right now it hurts, but in the end we grow stronger from our hardships. We learn what we need from relationships. We learn where we need to work on ourselves, and later our new relationships will be better for it.
I hope that you are able to find healing and comfort. Much love to you
I know that I cannot, of course, diagnose it, but ive been to my psychologist and told him the story from a to z.
he told me to read a book that is close to the same story, and he knows what he is talking about.
and he told me i really cant tell you this but from what i hear and all the experience i can tell you almost 100% she had BPS, and he mom has the same thing …
with all the history and the way i’ve been treating right now it hurts really bad and i just cant understand why
what also hurts is that i was going to be a dad…but now im not.
thanks for the love and the lift up 
im thankfull i found this wall, its going to be hard for awhile … what also hurts is that i was going to be a dad…but now im not
I know it hurts friend. don’t let this relationship hurt you any more. You don’t deserve this, you’re not happy. Tell her the truth, let yourself be done with her.
Do what you think will make you happy. If you feel worse after seeing or spending time with your friend or girlfriend, then it’s not the right way to stay anymore.
I believe in you. I know you’ll be okay
i will have to move on, this was not a normal break up…i was manipulated for 7 months, and gave all the blame and she was so stone stone cold i have to start from -20 and its fucking hard :C and not got to be a dad
I’m sorry about that. But the right person will treat you right. Don’t stick around in this toxic relationship. Sometimes you have be selfish and take care of yourself. You deserve better.
i will… and i will be strong but it takes time, i just wanne share my life with someone giving me all love and happiness
and not giving me all this meanfull stuff, in about a couple of months i will say im glad that it went this way,cant deal with such a person i dont even want too
It’s ok to feel like a victim of someone who mistreated you and took you for advantage. I am sorry about that. Have you told her how you feel? I’m not sure if you still associate with her and if you do maybe it’s best not to. Also seeking a counselor may help with what you’re going through if you chose to. As of the thoughts you are feeling and thinking of try to hangout with other people to distract your mind. Also you can do hobbies and things you enjoy to distract your mind too. Or you can join clubs or find new hobbies of interests to you and make some new friends there as well. I hope this helps you and you are in a better place or will be soon.