I cant find my place in this world

Right now I am at a time in my life when I feel that nothing is going to get better and partly because I hate my body, my face, my hair and I just can’t go outside with the clothes I want or with the Loose hair because I feel that everyone is looking at me and laughing at me inside, I am 18 years old and I have never liked any person in my life and I am clear that it is because I am a person who is not worthy, who does not find what that he is passionate about, nor his place in the world and I find no way to talk to the world about it because I am shy at extreme levels and I have zero creativity to write about it.
I know it’s minor problems and that there are people who are worse out there, but I feel like I’m drowning in here.
thanks to everyone who answers


Hey @Goltack,

Thank you so much for sharing and being here. :heart: It’s not easy to do that, it can make us very uncomfortable to share about some of our vulnerabilities… but you’re here! So thank you.

Also, it doesn’t matter what others are going through. Each life is different, and this post is about you. What you’re going through, what you’re wondering matters. You matter. And this can be even inspiring to those who may be facing the same questions as yours right now. :wink:

I don’t know if we have a specific place to find in this world, like something we’d have to reach and, at a certain moment in our life we could say “I find it”. We’re just human beings. We’re constantly exploring, trying, even failing sometimes, changing. And all along this process we’re learning about this world and about ourselves.

When I was severly depressed, I had a long season of self-reflection. It was scary, I felt lost. Like you, I didn’t know what was my place in this world and I didn’t feel like I achieved anything already. Didn’t feel like I’d be able to do anything either. I was lost. But with time, with life experiences (works, relationships, events, hobbies…), I realized that this moment was needed. I had to be in that state of inner reflection, so I could decide which action to try, even if I was unsure about the results.

It is only my perspective on this matter, but I truly think that the answers are already in you, and it’s higly related to your self-awareness, to know what you want to do in your life, what you enjoy/what you dislike, what are your desires and values… Having personal goals give you a direction, a motivation, and somehow it fulfills your heart and soul. But to find them, you have to explore, to actually try, to take some action.

Are there things you always wanted to try but never dared to? What brings you some joy in your life? Even the smallests things. Do you have dreams you’ve been putting aside because you tend to censor yourself? Do you have beliefs, values that you hold and would drive you to a certain direction? What did you learn about yourself from your past experiences (your tastes, your limits…)?

You are absolutely not worthless. It’s only a matter of perspective. Knowing ourselves can be a long journey that requires some patience and determination, also to explore new things and see how it goes. You can absolutely walk on that path. In fact, I think you’re already taking some important steps right now. By wondering what you’d like to do in your life, by looking at what you already like or what is missing right now, and by sharing all of this with us.

But let’s be honest, there are some obstacles along the road. Such as the way we see and treat ourselves. I’m really sorry you’re feeling this hate towards your body, your appearance. I never had a great relationship with my body either, it was sometimes quite destructive, and I understand how heavy it is to see yourself everyday when you don’t appreciate the reflection you see on the mirror. But friend, you are so, so much more. I know it may sound a bit silly to say that, but it’s true anyway: how you look like doesn’t define you. There is such a huge gap between your worth and your appearance. There is also such a huge gap between your own worth and the fact that you are extremely shy. You are not insignificant because you’d be shy. It’s a difficulty in your life, but nothing that couldn’t be overcome.

But I understand the frustration that comes with it. I’ve been really shy and anxious, as far as I remember since I was a kid. This kind of shyness that prevents you to catch positive opportunities because you don’t dare to raise your voice; which prevents you to give your opinion on subjets that matters to you; which prevents you to enjoy good moments with the people you love… I’ve been in many situations that made me feel weird, ankward, worthless, like I wasn’t able to adapt myself to this world. It felt like I hed to face many situations which reminded me that I wasn’t able to interact and just… live.

You are not out of this world, friend. You are already part of it. You have a rich inner life, but for many of us it can take some time before we actually see it. Allow yourself to take some time to identify, honestly, what you’d like to do, regardless of how you think you are. Try to distinguish your needs, your desires from how you feel about yourself. I know it’s a difficult exercise, but it’s truly worth it.

Just to add a last thing, I’d like to share with you a video from the HS Youtube channel that has been encouraging to me when I was struggling with self-doubt. I hope it will encourage you too:

Sending love your way. :heart:
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Hey friend. It’s human to have things about our bodies that we feel insecure about or dont like. I think a lot of people have things about their body that they wish was different. Even people we wouldn’t expect. I know I do. I often feel like I’m undeserving of love and to be liked because I’m heavy set and I don’t feel attractive. But I have to remind myself that this is not true.

Friend, our physical appearance does not make or break our self worth. It does not define who we are as people and it certainly does not make us unlovable no matter how much we think it might.

You are a person of value. You matter. You are important and you are worthy of love. From others and yourself.

Sometimes it’s hard to find that things you are passionate about. That’s okay. Sometimes these things take times. Don’t be afraid to try something new friend. :heart:

I’m shy too. And I’m super awkward. So I often have a really hard time putting mauled out there. I often have to challenge myself. It takes practice but you can do it. Maybe you can sit at a coffee shop, order a drink or a snack and maybe practice saying “hello” to people that come and go. Wish them a good day. Or tell them you like their shirt or their hair. Random compliments. It may seem scary but I’ve done this and you may find yourself feeling really good about it because by saying these things you made someone else smile. :heart:

Don’t be so hard on yourself friend. If you haven’t already you can join the heart support discord and connect with other people. There are lots of resources linked in the channels. There’s the heart support streams on twitch if you haven’t checked those out. Dan and Casey are amazing and always welcoming. You should hang out with us sometime.

Friend I hope you find the strength and courage to reach out to others and maybe even to a therapist so you can work through these struggles. I hope for you that you find healing. You are cared for

  • Kitty

Thanks you guys from answer and listen to me I really appreciate

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