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Belongs to: Therapist Reads the Diary of a Madman by Ozzy Osbourne
I can’t handle reality.
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Much hugs to you, friend. I’m sorry you’ve been experiencing this. It’s so hard to feel sometimes trapped within a reality that seems too unbearable. It feels like being imprisoned in your own life with no way to escape. The next day, you keep waking up to the same reality, to the same pain, and it’s freaking hard to feel this cycle repeating. You want relief, peace, feeling like having the possibility to embrace life again, but parts of your heart seem stuck in the same place, with the same wounds.
There are times in my life when I’ve definitely felt just like you. Still recently too. When there’s life events that hit us brutally, unexpectedly, or just deeply… it makes it hard to keep putting one front in front of the other. I don’t know of course what’s at play for you, what’s behind this struggle of yours, but for what it’s worth someone out there understands how it feels. To me personally, experiencing grief and loss in my life is usually what triggers this overwhelming feeling of just not being able to handle reality. It’s like a button was pushed and I lose all my abilities in an instant, and can only accept to be patient with myself as I’d rather stay in bed all day. My heart craves and screams for things to be different, for the people I love to be here again, but then I keep realizing that those are things out of my control, and I can only learn to heal from that pain, patiently.
It’s hard to compose with a hurt that you feel is out of your control but that you also can’t walk around. There is definitely in it a part of needing to allow ourselves to feel what we need without any shame, but also to reach out when we need someone to shoulder that pain with us. And you my friend don’t have to walk through all of this just on your own. Sometimes, reality feels more bearable as we share it with someone. Having allies by our side - could they be friends, family or even professionals - can make a world of difference, especially during those moments. When we allow trustworthy people in this place of pain that we feel, they can sometimes bring a new light into it, and help us beauty where it still exists.
You are not alone, friend. Sending love your way today. 
-Marie-Anne