Let me say that I’m a recovering addict for 15 years. I am a strong independent woman with addiction all around me. I cannot stand this life I created. I’m the strong one, I can handle anything, I’m the rock, I’ll never leave, I’ll never give up on you. My heart and soul will not let me walk away so all the trouble is on my shoulders. I have a raging alcoholic daughter with 4 kids. It’s not my grand children’s fault, and should have to suffer this life so I stay trying my damndest to give them any sort of a normal life. It’s simply not an option to leave them. I have a brother who has been addicted to everything under the sun.When he wanted to get sober I let him move in with me, He gets more money on disability than anyone I ever met, he spends every last cent at the casino, he was a recovering pill/heroin addict until he had a very serious accident. now I have to deal with 3 different types of addictions in my life and they are not my own. Yes I could kick him out but what kind of sister would I be. Kick someone at their lowest is not a solution because I’ve been addicted. I’m frustrated and I cry because I feel trapped and I simply cant leave so I just want to die. No not kill myself but just to die. I cant do that either because who would be there for my grandbabies and my brother. I’m all they have and I’m ashamed of how I feel. What am I going to do?
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Hey friend
While I have never been an addict myself, I grew up around alcoholics and addicts.
My sister is also addicted to hard drugs and is stuck in a dangerous cycle that is constantly threatening her life. She had two babies that she lost. One was born with fetal alcohol syndrome.
It’s so hard to watch your loved ones throw their life away. And it makes even harder when what they do impacts your own life and mental health.
I know the hardships. I know the lies. I know the stress. I know the worry.
I may not know your situation exactly but I can relate in small ways and my heart aches for you because it’s a hard thing to face.
I pray for strength, courage, healing and recovery in your family.
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