Some days i feel happy and i want to share everything with my friends and family, and then there’s little moments nowadays that make that mood change. I can’t stand to see myself like this anymore🙁. And i have no idea what to do. I feel like i have a mental disorder that is causing this, but i just don’t feel happy when I’m alone.
At the end of every day, i can only rely on myself to do things. No one is going to be able to help me. I’m sorry to all of those i have burdened with my issues. And before you come at me saying that i didn’t burden you, yes i did. You never wanted to be in this situation in the first place. So terribly sorry for being my fucked version of me💔.
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Heya @vcajr I first want to thank you for writing and speaking out!
Wanted to remind you that you are not alone!!!
Everyone is here for you. If you need anything feel free to reach out!
Hold On
Darian Halliday/DarianDaOtter
@DarianHalliday
Hi @vcajr,
Please, don’t be sorry for writing here or sharing what you’re going through. You needed to express something absolutely valid and there’s no reason to diminish the importance of it. I can assure you that you’re not a burden, buy I also understand why it’s hard to accept that. When I’m struggling, I also tend to feel like I’m burdening everyone and I can’t help but saying sorry all the time. So just to remind you: everything is okay and I’m glad you’re here. 
Right now I only see someone who shared bravely something important and speaks with their heart. So first of all: thank you.
You mentioned something really important:
I feel like i have a mental disorder that is causing this, but i just don’t feel happy when I’m alone.
Well, this feeling can be due to a lot of things, not necessarily a mental health issue. But the fact that you’re wondering this is important. And people can actually help you, in different ways, whether it’s from your relatives or professionals. You are not alone. And if you have doubts, the first thing you can do is to reach out to someone your trust or a doctor to talk about it. I know it’s not always easy to do so, but I can assure you that’s it’s actually possible to get some help and see more clearly about what’s going on. A professional could help you to understand what you are going through, so you could talk about it freely and in a safe environment. Also, it can be interesting to check on the resources available on HS website. There is, for example, articles about different topics, two workbooks and one free-week access to BetterHelp.
Also, this community is and will still be here to help and support you. Most of us are actually experiencing dfferent mental health issues, and even if you won’t receive any diagnosis here, it can be helpful sometimes to share about different experiences, at least to not feel alone. Together we’re stronger. 
Sending much love your way.