Back to heartsupport

I can't live like this anymore!

I cant do this anymore. My parents are so toxic, my dad is verbally abusive and loses his sanity, over nothing, very easily. An instance that occurred tonight, I accidentally opened a different gallon of milk, than the one my dad was using for his cereal. Long story short I got screamed at. Now I’m denied food for the night. I’ve thought about moving out as this isn’t the first situation. If I move out, I lose all of the college money my grandma has saved up for me. If I don’t move out, I have to live like this for another 5-10 years depending on the college and degree. My mom told me to my face that her and my dad are more peaceful without me around. I desperately need advice and someone to personally talk to!

2 Likes

Hey,
You can do this, I promise. I won’t throw out some baseless claim that this situation will get better, but I can guarantee that your life will eventually. Please, please, please stay strong . When time comes to go to college, try to go somewhere you can dorm. That will at least remove you from the situation for a little while, a time where you can focus on you and your schoolwork.
If you need to talk, I’m here for you, shoot me a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

Stay strong; you are loved :slight_smile:
~Danny

2 Likes

That sounds like an incredible burden to be saddled with: being told by your family that you’re the cause of their problems when all you “did” was be born. This sounds like it’s a pattern that’s only wearing you down and is bad for your mental health, especially long-term. What do you think you, personally, can handle for the next 5-10 years?

It’s hard to think about, but how much is that college money worth to you? Is being debt-free worth another 5-10 years of the lifestyle you’re leading now? If you went into debt but got to move out from your family, would you feel better enough for the decision to have been worth it? These are all your choices to consider. You don’t have to make a decision right this minute, but seriously consider how you want the next 5-10 years of your life to go and what you feel like you personally can handle. Just remember that if people can go through college without a cent saved prior, so can you if it turns out that way.

It might not turn out to be the worst scenario, though. Start looking into your options in the meantime; whenever something goes wrong in your house or you’re blamed unfairly for something, put all your angry energy into figuring out how you’re going move onto what’s better for you. Can you take the money and dorm at a university, cutting down the time you have to be around your family until you have a degree to support yourself with? Are you going to move out entirely on your own and support yourself? (If you do move out you’ll have some extra things to consider like finding a place to live, earning enough to pay bills and rent and food, and whether or not you’ll be able to work while you go to college full-time. You might not even be able to go to college at the same time for a while, while you support yourself. If you do decide to move out it’s going to be hard work, and a lot depends on your age. Just think and research seriously and carefully about what your plan would be for when you get out.)

I have a friend that lived with an abusive mom for a long time and then she moved out on her own. She worked 2 full-time jobs and was exhausted and had to scrape by to make ends meet, and she didn’t get to go to college. It wasn’t easy for her, but for her it was a decision that was still worth it because she got the chance to be on her own.

These are all things that require a lot of consideration before you make the jump. Don’t rush to make any decisions, and don’t act without a solid plan - you’re definitely in an upsetting living situation, but if you do anything now think very carefully about how you want to proceed, because it will only serve to benefit you and you alone in the future. Turn your planning into something to look forward to for yourself - your future self will thank you for taking the time to make sure you had your own back. I’m wishing you the best of luck!!

3 Likes

Hun your mental state is worth so much more than any amount of money…Money will never make you happy if you feel like you have a safe place to go and you aould be able to make it else where then get away from the negative vibes.Are you of age to move out? You deserve a peaceful house hold.

1 Like

Yes I am at the age to move out but I don’t make nearly enough to afford to live on my own.

Seems like a tough situation. My best advice is to try and stay away from them as much as you can for now and when the time comes to go to college do it and try to live in campus so that way you won’t have to see them everyday and by the time you finish tour studies you can plan in moving away and living on your own, if you need to talk to someone I’m here just send me a message and I’ll try to listen to you :3
Stay strong and remember that it won’t last forever and eventually you’ll find happiness.

1 Like