I haven’t cut in 3 weeks and i haven’t drabk in 2 weeks. But for some reason i can’t stop smoking. I feel awful doing it because i go high everywhere i go. And i forget things ALL the time, but i cant stop craving this high. I feel like its the only thing taking away from my depression. Being sober, I’m freakishly depressed. It’s a crutch and i dont know how to escape it.
My advice, is to focus on one thing at a time. If you try to quit say 3-4 things at one time, it becomes a lot easier to get overwhelmed and stressed out, and fall back in old patterns. I have about 140 days sober from drinking and I smoke close to a pack a day, but I can’t handle quitting cigarettes at the moment. It’s ok, to take baby steps in quitting things and not rush it. Also try a 12 step meeting, or therapy if you can. I found those helpful in my steps to get sober from drinking.
For what it’s worth, I’m in the same situation as you. If I’m not high, my suicidal urges get strong. I always want to be high than be my “normal” self and when I’m feeling really low, I try to keep that high and I waste so much flower doing it.
My advice is there has to be something you can use or do to distract your mind from your cravings. Lately, for me, it’s reading comic books. I understand that might not suit you. I’m just saying keep an open mind about finding something that’s gonna keep your mind somewhat entertained or busy. That’s the key, you have to keep your mind busy on stuff you do enjoy.
Also from one smoker to another, keep your tolerance low if you’re gonna use it. While this may seem like it’s helping, it can also be just as harmful to your emotions. When I smoke a lot (and I mean A LOT), your high will reinforce your negative feelings and when you’re back to being sober, you’ll feel bad and completely drained instead of enjoying yourself.
I know this was a long read but I also use this the same way you are. I just wanted to share some of my experience with it and hopefully leave you with some advice. If you want to talk more, shoot me a message.
Have a good day