I did some self destructive things. (TW: Self Harm & Substance Use)

I kept thinking about suicide, attempted to overdose on my sleep meds, and gave myself a bunch of cuts on my arm.

What the hell is wrong with me…

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I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I was a little kid, and now I am 25. It has been a long journey for me, there has been ups and downs and all I can tell my friend is that I’ve been there too, I know the pain and the hopelessness but I also know the worst always goes but that is up to you, it means being brave to stand up when you less feel like it because it’s not easy. I’ve been down one thousand times but I’ve also got up two thousand. Every day is a struggle there is no finish line and there is no easy way but there is a way and you have to be brave enough to stop living in hell. Right now my life is a struggle as I said but it’s not hell and that means progress so all I can say man is be brave, stand up and fight because the worst will pass. Stay strong brother I have faith in you.

Small changes make the difference, for me starting the day making the bed and having a nutritious meal meant a lot back in the day and that allowed once I stuck to that habit to start with a new one that was working out, once I was eating healthy and working out on a regular basis I saw how I was loosing weight (that means the world for someone who has been obese most of childhood and teenage years) and that gave some confidence because I liked what I saw in the mirror. And without realizing all the small habits in time allowed to escape from the hellish world I was living in, but as an imperfect human for different reasons I fell and I fell fucking hard and all of a sudden all I had fought to win I lost, I was depressed, anxious and fat again but guess what I DID NOT GIVE UP. Right now I have been 4 months back on track again and it’s not been easy but hey guess what I am so much better and close to achieve again what I once had, but it all started with one single task, make your bed first thing in the morning and later on stick to other habits and you will see how your life will stop being hell.
I hope all of this makes sense to you and may my words encourage to NOT GIVE UP.
Stay strong my friend

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Friend, you are hurting. And I am very sorry for that. I responded to your other post but wanted to remind you again here that you are loved and cared for. Please be gentle with yourself. You matter.

Have you ever taken it to God and asked him to help. It won’t be an instant fix because God isn’t a genie, but I promise Jesus will show you why you feel this way and help you. Just say lord I need your help and he will answer.

@Megadave020

There’s nothing wrong with you.

We love you here.
I care about you.

Hang in there friend. :hrtlegolove: