I won’t say much here but I need someone to talk to. These days I’ve been working hard on a graduation project for my whole class as a representative. I’ve worked on it, trying non-stop, all day and night. And now I’m here listening to insults, how I did terrible in time management, art style, transitions, and basically everything. I tried so hard to impress them. They insult my work as if I’m not even in the same room. I always laugh it off, redo it and try. I told them to stop and tell them I did my best. They ignore or laugh about it as if it’s the funniest joke.
I tell this to my friends, my family, and the only thing they say is that it’s my fault that I took responsibility for this. I know, I know that they’re right. I just need to know that I did fine.
I’m sorry for rambling. thank you, if your still here reading this.
Hey @Kim09,
This is heartbreaking. I’m really sorry you were told all of this. Whether it matches with the expectations that were set for this work, it’s not okay to mock you/make fun of you or even insult you. That is not how teaching and pedagogy work.
I have no doubt that you have put a lot of energy and time in this work. You did fine, and you know why? Because you actually worked on it and accomplished something. If it’s not the result that was expected, then you only learn from it. You could only fail by not trying, which is not what you have done.
May I ask who are the people who quote insulted you? Were they teachers or other students? I’d like to understand a little more the context of this work and your presentation, because there is something that sounds really off there, and completely not okay.
I hope you can rest after all of this. It must have been so painful and draining emotionally. I remember a time as a student, when we were asked in small groups to work on an individual one year project/commentary. When I submitted the plan of mine, the teacher shared her feedback in a way that was so humiliating and harsh. I cried all the way home, and felt like a giant failure. Some other students have let me know afterwards that it was just mean, and not me being too sensitive. Though at the end of the year, I proved her wrong as the jury commented very positively my final work. I had to restructure it in the meantime of course. The project evolved with time. But that day I proved to myself and to her of what I was able to do, and that her comments didn’t break me. Resilience can be rebuilt, even after some heartbreaking breakthrough like these. Constructive criticism is okay. Mockery and humiliation is not.
All of this to say, today is not a dead end or the sign that your work, nor you, would be worthless. I hope you don’t lose sight of this.
I believe in you.
Hi @Kim09 Welcome to Heartsupport, thank you so much for posting, Im Lisa its really nice to meet you.
Your post really saddens me and I am so very sorry that you are in this postion. Heartbreaking is the exact word when you put your all into something and someone comes along and degrades your efforts but what hits me the most is that after all of that after you then going to the people you love for support, you get the blame?? What on earth is that about?
Sometimes people can say hurtful things in jest and think it doesnt have an effect and especially when you laugh it off for some reason mainly through lack of empathy it just doesnt occur to them that you are just hurt, embarrased or you dont want to be called a drama queen so they choose to ignore it and keep the joke going. I have reoccuring memories of that happening to a family member as a child and it has never left me and now im overly sensitive to that situaion so my heart aches for you. I am so annoyed that you were ignored when you asked them to stop, that is cruel and nasty and you should not have been put in that situation. As for you taking responsabitily, yes you did and that is a positive thing and should be applauded not mocked, you took on a role, you did it to the best of your ability and you succeeded. That my friend is not just fine, it is successful. I hope all the people that laughed can say that they have always managed the same amount of success in all of their endeavors. lets hope so. Thank you for taking on that project and please dont let mean people bring you down. Your are worthy of so much more.
Much Love Lisa.
From: Ash
I am so sorry so many told you that you didnt do this right or that right and that it hurt you so deeply. You deserve LOVE not people telling you all the time what was wrong or bad. However I can say that some of that might not have been out of hasty hate or disgust with what you had done but more as a means to help you learn more for the next project. Again tho some people forget how to respect the person who created something. In my oppinion if you tried that you did what matters. I am proud of you for doing the job you did and for trying. I am also glad you shared this. You are not a burden for needing to get this off your mind you are also not a burden for needing help. People need help and they need support and that is what you needed in this moment. I am very glad that you shared this and I hope you know that you are worth of someone listening and hearing you talk about whatever it is that is going on. Dont stop fighting and dont let the idea that people wont read to the end stop you. We will read this and we will help support you. Hold fast Ash
From: SPC.Teixeira.I
hey friend, no you dont need to be sorry you are an amazing person and its amazing that ur showing that you are a hard working person you will reach high places soon, keep hustling and dont be sorry.
Ok honey, no. To start off, this is NOT your fault. They are wrong. Very. Wrong.
People can he shitty, terribly shitty. And I’ve learned when you meet a shitty person in a group project, show no reaction. The teacher usually knows who the ass is if they know you well enough. For me at least they knew I was a good kid so they took point off the others. And if that doesn’t work, I usually destroy the whole project and then just bluntly say “they were being little ******, so I decided if I can’t have my say, and be treated like a human being, then no one will.” Don’t show emotion, just Bluntly say it with a blank face. Don’t give a shit, make them shut their fucking mouths. Don’t be afraid to give em back the bag of their own shit, it’s what they need for a slap in the face either way.
Trust me man, when someone says your work is shit, they’re usually jealous. I’ve had my crap stolen, insulted, almost sabatoged, always were trying to find some sort of tiny mistake in my work and blow it up. Because some little tiny bitch ass c*nts didn’t like that I was top of the class and my teacher loved my work. Don’t let it stop you though, you do what you want, you LOVE your work. Because you know it’s good. Your love for your art is what keeps you moving forwards, and they’re hatred just means you’re on to something. That art is YOU. YOUR Uniqueness, and YOUR HEART AND SOUL don’t let them get to you. And don’t let the idea of competition destroy the love you have for other people and their work. In general, don’t let competition be a thing, that’s what makes people so bad at it. Just love. Love others work and be compassionate about their work, because it’s art, it’s the soul, it’s not about who’s better or worse. With that, eventually you’ll realize the ones who only hate because of envy weren’t meant for the talent anyways.
Don’t let the brainwashing of “It’s your fault” get to you, it’s bogus.
The mind is a very special and mysterious thing, don’t be afraid to unleash it’s full potential <3
-X
Hi Kim09
First of all welcome to hearthsupport . Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am sorry that you are treated like that and I want to applaud you for taking responsibility for the project. It was very brave and mature of you. It is unfortunate that people that were not willing to take that responsibility are insulting your work. People can be mean. Especially those that don’t have the qualities that you have so they want to make you feel bad. It is very easy to criticise the work of others. Remember you are doing your best. If they don’t like it screw them. If they thought the can do a better job they should have volunteered. They didn’t you did and you are trying so hard. They are really lucky to have you even though they might not see it that way. Take it easy on yourself ok. Do your thing and if someone wants something done differently then the can always help you out. If not their mistake. I hope the project turns out well in the end. You are really hardworking and brave let me tell you that.
Hi @Kim09 I’m Misty
Your story made me sad but also angry, no one should be told all of that! You worked so hard and put in so much effort. I’m sorry, but that’s just completely unprofessional and rude. It must have been so humiliating and upsetting and that’s not what a learning environment should be–I’d hate it!
I’m not sure of the structure of your project, or the requirements, but if you were supposed to give feedback then none of that is constructive at all! This is totally not your fault, your friends and family’s opinions don’t confirm that either. If the same sort of thing happens to them, and they don’t think it’s a big deal… well, that’s them. But this has upset you and that’s a completely valid feeling. I know how it feels to give a project or assignment your absolute everything and get ridiculed for it or have b.s. feedback that really isn’t constructive and becomes more of a personal attack. I’m so sorry you went through this. Do you have a plan going forward in terms of the project and your class?
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