Ever since I heard the news that As I Lay Dying was releasing new music, I have been wondering, “What could Tim have said or done to win over the other band members?” knowing that some have been very critical of Tim in the past.
I just finished watching the AILD HeartSupport video. I get it now.
Tim, you finally did what, up until this point, I have been waiting for. You stopped making excuses and took responsibility for your actions. Instead of blaming things outside yourself - external factors and circumstances - you admitted that it was your mistake. You owned, for the first time in my eyes, the person that you were and the things that you had done. As you put it, “I resent and rebuke who I became and what I had done. Everyone does.” And I wonder just how much you realize the truth in that statement.
Further, you acknowledged the hurt that you caused, not only to those directly impacted by your actions, but those not connected to you or the ones you hurt. Your words and deeds, as a public figure, have a far reach. There are fans, like myself, whose personal lives echo with similarities to what you attempted to perpetrate. There are those, like myself, that felt a deep connection to the hurt you caused, if for no other reason, than it ran the same course and struck the same nerves as previous trauma.
It has never been, nor will it ever be, my place to judge you, absolve you, or forgive you for your transgressions against others. But I hear the words of your band members and I see the efforts you are making in word and action. And, for the pain that you caused me personally, by striking those deep shadows of wounds that never healed, I can forgive you.