Back to heartsupport

I do not know what to do

I don’t know right now, my mental health has been in a really bad place recently, had a black out on the 19th and sh’d during the black out I don’t remember any of it, after that I went to the local gp/doctor and got an appointment booked to get my blood taken to see why I am passing out/blacking out so much recently and I also booked my first appointment for an intake with a therapist to start that track, police also showed up at my door shortly afterwards to talk to me because there had been concerning messages on discord sent by me reported to them by administrators of a server I used to be a part of and a staff member for before they banned me for stuff I did not do, this also had a giant impact on my mental health because a lot of people in there where my friends and now I have no way of contacting them except a few of them through dms (the getting banned and removed from the staff team thing), I currently am also suffering from an ed which has gotten quite bad due to the point of me being to weak to walk a about a week ago, I recovered from that point tho with lot’s of support from my girlfriend and quite a lot more, like loneliness and other traumas and not nice things, I am transfemme/transgirl (12 weeks on estrogen hormones) and 20 years of age and my name is Alexis, I love my stuffies/plushies a lot but what I love more then that is my trans girlfriend who is really sweet and cute, who I have been together with for just over 2 weeks now, thank you for reading.


Welcome to the HeartSupport forum, Alexis! Thank you so much for coming and sharing your story with us :hrtlegolove:

It sounds like you have been going through a fair bit in your young life but it also sounds like you do know what to do. At least with a lot of things. You are getting into therapy which is always a good thing when struggling and it is really great you are recognising your need for help. I’m really glad you have a supportive girlfriend to help care for you and I hope you continue to cherish her and support her as well. I wish you both the best.

If you want to communicate with some people you cannot anymore would you be able and willing to ask some that you have DMs with to get the discord names/numbers of the others so you can send them friend requests on discord? Or ask them to ask those people for you and have them share you name/number so those people could add you if they so choose? It is just my initial thought on that situation.

I hope things work out for you moving forward and I wish you so much luck in life. I hope you will come back and share with us whenever you feel like doing so. This is a wonderful place. Thank you again for sharing with us. And always remember that you matter. Stay strong :hrtlegolove:


Hi @Alexis Welcome to Heartsupport, thank you for posting here and sharing some of your story, it is not surprising that you are struggling with your mental health if you amongst other things are having these huge issues with your physical health, it is a lot to be trying to cope with blacking out for no apparent reason and all these things being written onlne in your name that you have no memory of, that in itself is a lot to have to contend with mentally. I am very glad you have been to see your doctor and would certainly ecourage you to persue the issue until you had some answers.
With regards to your friends, as @DustintheWind says there are ways you can contact some of them via discord if you want to explain to them what has happened to your knowledge, I am sure they will understand, Friends are normally pretty good like that. On a much more positive note, I am really pleased that you have support from a super girlfriend at this time and that between you and the doctor you will find the cause, the resolution and the strength the power through this towards better times ahead. We of course are always here too for a little extra support if and when you need it. I wish you lots of love and luck. Lisa xx

1 Like

Hi and welcome in!

There’s a lot going on all at once it seems, but I’m so glad and grateful that you’ve lined up some appointments which hopefully will shed some light on what’s goin on physically and mentally.
We’re here for you, to support you through it (we’d love to hear any progress you’d like to share or anything you’d like to share and get some support for, even if it’s just having a rough day!). Glad you’re here with us!

@DustintheWind had some great ideas for the discord stuff too. Hoping to see you around, we’re here! :smiley: You matter, and the world is a better place with you in it!

1 Like

Sorry if my post wasn’t related to this topic. I made my own topic and put it there. I hope you are better Alexis!


Sounds like the past couple weeks have been a whirlwind - it’s hard to feel like you’re fighting a battle on so many fronts…not just the SH…not just the ED…not just the physical transition on the hormones…but the loss of community, the struggle of seeking help (finding a therapist), and the difficulty of carrying all of this at the same time…that’s a LOT! Seems like you have good support from your girlfriend - plus you mentioned on stream a few friends that are supportive as well. I am glad that you’re fighting courageously to take care of your mental health through this time…it can be hard to see the pursuit of a therapist through to actually getting connected to one, but I love that you’re fighting to make that happen. Thank you for participating on stream the other day - it was great to meet you.

1 Like