I do not like the way I look anymore(TW body image)

Made a video of myself, looking at my body because I want to know how people say me. And the moment I saw it, any kind of confidence I had before GONE and I don’t think it will return for a long time.

I was actually much less weight before and back then I had a bad eating disorder and I went from 153 to 124 in a really short amount of time. Now I am about 176 pounds but I didn’t really think much of it because it didn’t see much of an issue with my overall appearance until today.

I look so so so bad, it was almost embarrassing. Makes me want to cover up everything.

I know my face is a little wonky, not exactly that pretty but paired with my body makes it worse.

No wonder no one likes or approaches me. No wonder I’m never the first choice.

I’m just so ugly, I hate it
I just want to wear a mask, cover up everything and live like that for the rest of my life.

I really wish I had died sooner

Maybe people are right. I’m just a pitiful person who’s only worth is being pitied by others and nothing more. No one likes me, they just feel so sorry for how bad I came out to be.

I had nothing to offer this world and I have nothing to offer myself.


I just want to eat myself, I don’t even know if that makes sense but that’s how I feel

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Very few people like the way they look, or how they look when talking. We are our own worst critics. I’ve no doubt that many others find you to be a welcome sight. Those who would distance themselves from you because of how you look, are doing you a favor by not being around.

Declaring yourself to be pitiful doesn’t mean you actually are. Self pity is debilitating, but it’s also a self deception.

Can you do laundry, write a letter, change a light bulb, share a smile, give a hug? There are tons of things you can do, but the greatest gift you can offer is your authentic, empathetic, compassionate and resourceful self.

Something has led you to forget who you actually are. Feeling pitiful is part of a false identity. You have strength and talents that need to be re-discovered, along with some new ones you’ve not discovered yet.

If you think or say negative things about yourself, your subconscious will do all it can to validate your negative self concept. It will make it impossible for you to recognize your own abilities. Ten years ago, I lost 100lbs, and haven’t gained any of it back. It happened when I accepted the absolute fact that I no longer needed the habits that kept me overweight, and that I could establish more helpful habits. I could not have accepted that I could make such changes if I’d continued to shame myself. Self shaming is self-deception, because it’s not something you deserve, and it also conveys the lie that you can’t make positive change.

You can also decide to be happy with the weight you are now. If you’re healthy and comfortable, that’s the main thing. Take note of all the people of very different faces, sizes and shapes, that are not at all held back by their appearances. Even if you plan on losing weight, love and accept yourself as you are now. You deserve it!

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