I ask God for strength and endurance to get through this next season…my lady and I had a bit of a falling out a few weeks ago and I have been seeking counseling help, spiritual guidance, and consistently following self-care routines. However, she has been slowly trusting me again as her lover. With this, kissing feels forced, sex just isn’t happening at all, and I feel like I’m just not good enough for her anymore. I want to be loved by her but worry that it may be too late…I know this is the depression talking but I’m just really upset by all this. I want it to be over…
I’m so sorry friend. I have been in this place in my previous marriage. Things started falling apart and intimacy became very difficult. Counseling is a great place to start. But still requires effort from both ends.
Relationships can be complicated. I certainly can relate. I hope you guys can find peace and healing in your relationship and find a way to work it out.
Know you have friends here that care. Have you asked her what things could or need to be improved? Understanding each other’s needs is important and helping each other resolve each of your feelings so that you both can feel valid in what you feel.
Stay strong my friend
I completely agree with everything you shared. Thank you for taking the time to reach out. I’m currently in the process of trying to meet our needs moving forward. It’s very challenging but there is hope that things will improve. We are doing all that we can with where we are at.
I’d like to echo what @DearKoyangi said about understanding each other’s needs. Communication between you two can be really important, especially when you’re not sure about each other’s feelings. Otherwise you may start to think about the worst scenarios possible. Each other’s feelings and intentions are not necessarily perfectly clear at first, especially when depression itself is influencing your mind. I’ve been where you are, and there were days like this when I was too resignated about our relationship and thought it was over already. If my husband and I didn’t talk about it at the moment then I think I’d be feeling even more isolated. It could have become a negative circle to both of us and, this time, really end with the worst scenario.
Intimacy isn’t acquired all the time and, depending on life circumstances, you might need to recreate it differently. As you said this is a season in your life. This situation can be improved. You’re obviously a caring person and you’re willing to do what you can to make positive changes.
I hope things will get better for both of you. Hold fast.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I really needed to hear this.