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I don’t fit here, I shouldn’t be here

First off, I’m not even sure why I’m doing this, honestly typing this out now I feel like I’m just doing this for attention and that I should delete this and forget this site. But maybe this can help, and who knows maybe I can start helping people again.

I think I need help.

I don’t know if anyone else has felt this way, but whatever kind of person I am, the life I’ve had so far, I feel like some kind of tragic story character. Rather than an actual human being with control over his life. I swear I should’ve died multiple times now, yet here I am, still standing. Meanwhile everyone around me just seems to be withering away. I’ve lost too many people as it is. I don’t know how much longer I can go before I become someone or something I hate.

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I’m with you, you are not alone. What can you change? Even if its eating breakfast and dinner? I hope I can help you even if it’s for 30 minutes.

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Thank you,
I suppose it would help if I had breakfast or dinner wouldn’t it? Can’t say I’ve had more than one meal a day for the past two weeks. So much for surviving uni life right hah.
I’m planning on making things better when I come back in January but it’s cheaper to stay in, as lazy as that sounds. I just really don’t want to have to depend on anyone else for anything. Never seems to work out well for me when I let people in. I try going out and being social, but it just feels like I’m putting on a mask and pretending so I don’t worry or annoy what friends I still have.

I really am grateful you took the time to ask and I’m sorry that I’ve probably just dumped more on you and anyone else reading this. I know it probably sounds like a bunch of self destructive excuses.

Hey, I get it. Yes eat and bathe and do the small things that make you happy. You are worth something. Just have to break things down and think of what you do have. And if it’s nothing, what can you do to keep your mind busy? Got tonne something, call of duty… music. Cooking, the outdoors? Can’t go wrong with walking down a trail.

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There are a fair amount of natured paths where I am. Yeah, I think I’ll give that a shot. I guess ten minutes of peace of mind is better than none right?
Certainly a good place to start.

I honestly didn’t think anyone else would understand. My family isn’t exactly the easiest group to talk to it. Well, what remains of it anyway.

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Hey, I am with you. I’m not trying to get fans but you can add me at outdoor_premonition on Instagram. I have a YouTube chan called outdoor premonition. This is what I do when I’m super depressed. Makes me feel important.

(573) 283-3634 text me if you ever need a friend

Really? Are you sure? I’d really hate to leech off anymore of your time with more complaints about my life. Though I am really grateful.
I’ll definitely check out your channel, least I can do.

You can message me. Anytime

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I appreciate that. Thank you

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