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I don’t know how to be myself again


#1

So my back pain has subsided. I’m out of bed and moving about. Thank God. But recently I haven’t been able to get out of the dark parts of my thoughts. It’s like one day I’m good then the next I’m back in a dark slump thinking all the worst things.

And I’m mad. Mad that I’m so weak minded. That I feel so useless to anyone because of how I can manage to handle any hardship thrown my way. I feel like I kill the mood all the time and everyone just wants “you’ll be fine” to make me okay. And it doesn’t. And I hate it. I hate this. I’m just so freakin lost.

I don’t know if this is gonna last forever. Because if it does I don’t know if I can deal with it.


#2

@Emily

It’s okay. You are being honest. I am right there with you. One moment I am having a time of my life, and the next is crap. How did it go so bad?! Our brains are tricky. We must keep fighting against those thoughts. Don’t beat yourself down. Keep reaching out. Thank you for sharing.