This is so stupid. I feel to young to be feeling like this over a guy. Around October i met this guy at school. We started talking. It became off and on. He would walk with me in the halls and talk to me at lunch. We talked after school right when we got home too. We never hung out because I got to anxious and made up excuses. The one time we were going to hang out his dad made him cancel. in the end of december he got a girlfriend. he told me he was taking a break from dating. at the time he was my only motivation to go to school. he was my only motivation to not sleep all day. he left me. he tried to apologize. i accepted it bc i didn’t want to hold a grudge. i don’t think he realizes how much he hurt me. he doesn’t know how much he meant to me. he still means a lot to me. now when i go to school he is everywhere. we don’t have any classes together just lunch. our tables are right next to each other. but i feel like every time i turn a corner i see him. or i see his friends. i can’t escape him. he won’t leave my mind. i try so hard to not make eye contact. when i pass him i just look straight forward. i feel like this is all my fault. i did everything wrong. it’s starting to become hard to believe he even liked me. but probably did. just a stupid high school relationship.
Thank you so much for sharing what you’re going through right now. It takes courage to do that. Thank you.
This isn’t your fault. But it’s normal to feel like this for the moment. You are grieving a relationship and it can bring a lot of different feelings at the same time. It is about the memories you have with him, the places you associated with, the expectations that you had. Regrets can appear as you re-read the moments you spent with him from a different perspective. You are hurting and I’m really sorry for that. But torturing yourself with a lot of “what if…” will only hurt you more. You don’t need this friend.
I don’t know what happened between you two nor what could have make him to take those decisions. But what is sure is that it is important to take care of yourself, especially when you’re hurting. It’s unfair to find yourself in such a situation and you will need time to process, to heal, to find some peace through all of this. You’ll get there. And you have friends here you can count on if you ever need it. You are not alone. Those feelings will change with time.
Sending hugs to you.