I’ve always had a hard time with school, especially high school.
I don’t want to be in college.
But I don’t want to be the lazy scum of the earth.
I feel like if I drop out of college I’m just going to be seen as a lazy piece of crap. That worries me just in regards to if my parents think that.
I’ve been looking for a job. I’ve been trying. It’s getting really hard to not second guess myself.
Sometimes I’m scared I’m just lying to myself. That I’m not actually trying. Depression has been affecting me a lot, but even when I know that’s an issue for me I feel like I’m using it as an excuse. Like I should be able to just push through it.
My mom said she took classes she hated and she just pushed through it because she had to. Why can’t I be like that?
The only way I can put it is I really can’t do it. I just can’t.
It sounds like an excuse but I don’t know what else to say. I don’t know how to put it.
If I drop out of college does that make me lesser? Does that make me worthless? Does that make me stupid? Is that the end of everything for me?