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I don’t know what to do about college

I’ve always had a hard time with school, especially high school.

I don’t want to be in college.

But I don’t want to be the lazy scum of the earth.

I feel like if I drop out of college I’m just going to be seen as a lazy piece of crap. That worries me just in regards to if my parents think that.

I’ve been looking for a job. I’ve been trying. It’s getting really hard to not second guess myself.

Sometimes I’m scared I’m just lying to myself. That I’m not actually trying. Depression has been affecting me a lot, but even when I know that’s an issue for me I feel like I’m using it as an excuse. Like I should be able to just push through it.

My mom said she took classes she hated and she just pushed through it because she had to. Why can’t I be like that?

The only way I can put it is I really can’t do it. I just can’t.

It sounds like an excuse but I don’t know what else to say. I don’t know how to put it.

If I drop out of college does that make me lesser? Does that make me worthless? Does that make me stupid? Is that the end of everything for me?

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Lyss, first off…NO, dropping out of school doesnt make you lesser of a person and NO it doesn’t make you worthless nor does it make you stupid. Guess what? Im a college dropout myself. I went to college knowing FULL WELL that I didnt want to, but thought I had to because that’s what my parents and my teachers want me to do. Is leaving college the correct course of action for you? I dont know, but I dont want you to think that doing that is the only option you have. If counseling is available on campus, see if you can get an appointment with one and talk things out with them. If you can, also talk about what’s going on with your parents and be HONEST with them regardless of how they respond.

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Hey @Lyss

I was once in your shoes. When I finished school, everyone encouraged me to study Actuarial Sciences and I went along with it because I felt that it was what I should do as a top student. A couple of months however, I found that I hated the course I was taking and the environment I found myself in(I was far away from home living with people I didn’t like). I felt the same as you: I felt like I should just push myself through my course, that I would be worthless or letting people down if I dropped out, very depressed etc etc. I was not coping well.

It was difficult but I made the decision to discontinue my course. I went back home and soon enough found work for the rest of the year. I took some serious time to think about what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. It definitely helped that I wasn’t under the constant pressure of assignments and tests. I went from being someone who wasn’t eating and was afraid to leave his room to someone who was performing music at weddings (which was not something I had ever thought I’d do). I am now in my second years of my new course and loving it (as I type this I know that I have a math tests tomorrow that I look forward to).

College education is not the be all and end all of life. It is definitely awesome to get a degree, especially in a difficult field or from a prestigious university, but if you are finding that your fear of studying outweighs the love of what you are doing, then some thinking needs to be done. Getting a degree isn’t really so great if you are caught in a spiraling put of depression during and after your studies.

My recommendation is take the tie to think. If you truly believe discontinuing your studies is necessary, then don’t hold it against yourself. Sometimes we are weaker than we would like to admit, but without admitting that fact to ourselves we can’t really grow stronger. If you make the decision to continue with your studies, keep in mind that marks do not define you. Many people fail subjects at university and still make it through, so take it easy on yourself if you do fail some subjects or even do less well than you had hoped. I know from experience that depression can make you believe that you have done far worse than you have in reality.

Life is an ultra-marathon. Take the time to address your flaws and heal your wounds, because trying to ignore them and push through will only make things worse. Keep your head up and work on improving your head space and one day you will wake up and find yourself to be a far more capable person than you would have thought you would be.

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I want to you know, that many people who struggle in school (including myself) have these thoughts, and have to mull over these decisions. I want you to know, that just because you attend college, or what college you attend aren’t guarantees of how your life will turn out. Nor does it say that you are worthless. It’s the choices and the experiences that we all undergo in our lives, that mold us into who we become. Those who truly love and value you in your life, will understand your decisions. And they will support you in life, no matter what.

If it is something that you truly love, and are driven to do, IT will make a difference. if it’s going to just go, and something to do to appease others, or society; there will be no difference at all, except you feeling you are stuck and pre-determined to be there.

All in all, School isn’t you; your heart, soul, and mind are you. The legacy you leave matters more when you see the lives that you have come into contact with, and or touch. To see a lasting imprint of your true good will, nature, and care for others left upon another person who can pay it forward.

I love you, I believe in you, I’m here for you.

Love,
Ry

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There is nothing wrong with dropping out. The stress it causes you may just be too much. This doesn’t make you lesser of a person or stupid. It doesn’t matter if you mom could do it, you aren’t her. You may not be ready to do college. You may never be, that is ok. I know you have a passion for art, you have your comics and a stream. If you think it would be less stress for your to get a part time, and focus on your art. THAT IS OK. Cause you are doing what you love. That is important.

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I dropped out of college because I wasn’t ready or in a position that I was able to do it. I then went back when I was ready… 5 years later. There’s always the option to go back, you don’t have to do it right there and then. “You’re supposed to go to college at 16, you’re 19 and still don’t have any qualifications” < No, I didn’t. I had to go back a few years later so I could get them and do the best I could do. Even now, I haven’t done anything with my qualifications… I still work a job that they have no relevance to what-so-ever… Just because I’m not ready to move back into education yet. I’m in a position right now where my job is potentially on the line because of my mental health, and I feel like the biggest piece of shit. I feel like if I lose this job, it is going to be the end of my recovery, because it is the thing that gives me routine… You’re not alone. We love you.

Hold Fast,
Kayla

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Dropping out of university does not make you lazy. If it is not for you then that is okay. Maybe you want to pursue something else and that is okay. At the end of the day do what you think is going to work best for you. You are not worthless you matter. You are not stupid and it is not the end of you. Maybe you need a break maybe yo you want to do something different and that is okay. You tried and not many people can say that. Keep moving forward and do you.

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@Lyss My beautiful, sweet potato. Hold Fast.


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Lyss my dear friend!!

I had to study so I unfortunately didn’t get to be part of the discussion with Dan.

I’ve struggled with this too. This year has absolutely been kicking my butt. I’m in college and my first year here, I had amazing study habits! But absolutely no social life. This year has been academically challenging and mental-health challenging and I’ve spent plenty of time thinking about taking a semester off, dropping out, or at least worrying about failing. Last semester I changed my major twice. It’s hard work but since I’ve worked through some of my mental health stuff, my academics are starting to pick back up too. It’s really hard to find those things that you need to be able to do work (whether it’s something you want to do or not). Anyways!! I’m sorry if I’m rambling on about myself but I want you to know that we LOVE you regardless of your decision, not going to college does NOT make you less of a person, it’s OKAY to take your time!

Love you lots! Message me on insta or discord if you want to talk more! (I have a bit more I’d like to say but I have an exam so I have to go.)

Hold fast :heart:

love,
sophic

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no, just do what’s right for you and find your own path in life.