I don’t know what to do with my relationship anymore

Hi,

I don’t know what to do anymore :disappointed:I think my relationship isn’t going to last because of my boyfriend and I have different beliefs.

We both have different beliefs and views on Christianality where I don’t fully believe in things surrounding the religion and my boyfriend is a very strong believer. But i don’t know if I should leave him because of this.

He feels like things won’t work out because of our differences and he wants a me to believe in something I don’t but on my own terms and he wants a future where his family grows up in a religious household witch is fine with me but he says we won’t last because of his very strong faith and I want us to but he can’t get past the fact that we don’t believe in the things.

Should I just end it now or what should I do? :disappointed:because honestly I’m thinking of ending our relationship and I don’t know why I got my hopes up for the future for us in the first place.

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It can be a very hard subject to approach, so I have to say you’ve both done well to at least open the discussion.
I personally would want to understand (if I were in your position and this was my partner) why my partner would want to start a relationship with someone who doesn’t believe the same as them if they are saying that the relationship won’t last because of the belief difference.
If it’s because he is under the impression he can change your views or to persuade you to in order to keep the relationship, then that may not be the healthiest foundation and motivation for him or for you, but that doesn’t mean that there can’t be common ground and understanding.

Relationships are full of compromises, and it sounds like you’ve voiced that you’d be okay if in future there were children involved with them being brought up with religion in their life.

I would only be able to speak from how I would approach things on a personal level.
Firstly to always trust gut instincts even when it’s an uncomfortable feeling
And to secondly have a real raw and honest conversation. Maybe to ask the questions of why they wanted to start this relationship. If they really think it’s not going to work, then what are their goals and intentions. If they do want it to genuinely work, then what compromises are they willing to extend and how are they going to start shifting the negative focus from “it’s not going to work” to “let’s work together”

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Hi, Legacylex.
Thanks for posting on HeartSupport. I’m sorry you are in such a complex place in your relationship. I can’t tell you what to do, but I agree with what @AliceBlue posted. You both need to really be open and honest with yourselves and each other concerning this topic. No one agrees completely on everything, but there are areas that can cause division between people. If that happens, it can put more distance between you later on. If children come into the relationship, you and your partner need to be united on many things to make life more stable for your children. Keep in mind, this is just my opinion. I’m not a professional in any way. I wish you well in making the best decision for your situation. :two_hearts:

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Hi there, @Legacylex :people_hugging:

In sounds like your in between a rock and a hard place at the moment. I totally understand why you may feel uncertain and conflicted about the future of your relationship. When faith is concerned, dealing with differences in belief’s is a struggle, and there is no easy advice or solution. However, you’ve opened the discussion up already like @AliceBlue said. There is no easy road to navigate beliefs, simply because they are complex and ingrained deep within us. Christianity, in particular, is a diverse and multifaceted religion with a wide range of beliefs and interpretations across different denominations and individuals. Everybody will have a slightly different view on what their religion is.

It’s clear that both of you have completely different views of the world, and that’s okay. Your boyfriend has his views, and you have yours. Although you may be feeling disconnected, tense and uncertain about the future compatibility of the relationship, it’s important to remember that different beliefs don’t need to become a deal-breaker in a relationship. As long as you respect each other, don’t force beliefs onto each other and can see things working, that’s all that matters. Instead, open and respectful dialogue about your differing perspectives can foster empathy, deepen your connection, and ultimately strengthen your relationship.

It’s also worth saying that faith is adaptable. Yes, your boyfriend’s faith is strong, but that doesn’t need to be a barrier. It is possible for individuals to evolve and grow in their understanding of faith over time. If your boyfriend is unwilling to be flexible, and refuses to accept your beliefs then it will create challenges in the long run. My only advice is take time to reflect on what truly matters to you in a relationship. If you believe that there are much deeper issues than differing faith, then ending things may be the best option. However every relationship is evolutionary and has the potential for growth, yours is no different.

Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship that honors and respects your beliefs, values, and identity :heart:

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