Hey friend. Thanks so much for posting here and opening up. I know that can sometimes take a lot of courage and I absolutely applaud you for that.
You mentioned struggling with something that is quite different from addiction but still has you relating to the song and its lyrics in a different way. You’ve spent 15 years of your life raising your kids and theyre now in that stage of independence that leaves you with a lot of free time and no idea what to do with it.
That sounds so so difficult friend. Its absolutely valid that you would feel this way. You’ve devoted so much of your time to them, which I imagine means that maintaining hobbies and passions along the way wasn’t much of a priority. Now that they’re more independent, I can definitely imagine a hole full of questions about yourself, what you love and what to do now.
My daughter is only 8 and I co-parent her, which means that Im never truly the full time dad. But in an odd way, I’ve felt a lot over the last few years and for the future, that she doesn’t need me as much. Which has filled me with some anxiety - though logically i know the statement isnt a true one.
Nonetheless, it’s been difficult. One thing I’ve tried to model for her is the importance of hobbies and passions. Whether it be reading or writing - ive been passively writing a fiction novel for fun.
We live in a society that expects you to give all of yourself to your job or your kids and leave little time to nurture a part of yourself that is creative or imaginative. But i dont believe that people can truly exist like that.
I hope that you can find some more answers. Perhaps now is a good time to try things? Perhaps try learning to paint or write a book or find a new hobby. Which could seem anxiety inducing. But also, as cliche as it sounds, could lead to new interests, friendships and more fulfillment.
It’s very by-the-book advice, so I apologize. Regardless of where the next steps go, I encourage you to just continue to take the steps. One at a time.
You’ve got this my friend. Hold fast.