I don't appreciate being used

I feel this artist whom I became friends with has been playing games with me and I don’t appreciate it. We became friends and she has done extra stuff for me like extra artwork and drawings she is from Ecuador a third world country and she struggles with basic necessities and out of compassion I have sent her money here and there but what I don’t like is when she disappears offline and I ask about what happened to her she goes off on me and I told her I don’t appreciate being used and that she hasn’t been honest with me I block her and then she has a friend contact me and I talk to her again we make up but I don’t feel its the same relationship like it used to. I’m not rich and everyone in the third world thinks you are rich and want to scam you or ask you for money but I don’t feel I can be friends with her like I used to.


Always listen to your heart. Trust that God has got you. Sometimes it is hard to let go, but sometimes we need to. Be compassionate with yourself. There is another friend out there for you. Keep your heart open and keep listening to that little voice inside of you.


Were there any conditions attached to your gifts? When you give someone a gift, if you have expectations, then you can be disappointed. Once you give a gift, it is up to them to use it as they please.

Do you expect her to share more of her life, or explain what she is using the money for?
More importantly - did she ask you for money? If so, then I understand the scam concerns. But if you willingly gave it her out of affection, why are you regretting it now?

It’s also a bit unkind to brand all third-world folks as scammers or after your money. That’s kind of offensive.


First of all she wasn’t my girlfriend nor did I have any affection towards her she has done commissions for me like artwork and I have paid her for her services and there was a few times she needed money for food and I’ve given her here and there what I didn’t like that she tried to make it a habit and she wasn’t telling me what it was for that’s why I was getting suspicious. I didn’t give her any conditions I’m not looking for anything from her she was always asking for money and I had to tell her no and I think it’s offensive when people from the third world view people from the first world as fools that need to be taken advantage of.

This is not a general sentiment of all persons from third-world countries.
You chose to give her these gifts, it is fully up to you to stop. She doesn’t have to tell you what she’s using it for, once it’s given? If she says she needs food, and you gave her money, do you expect her to send you a picture of some groceries? Trying to understand what are your expectations that are not being met here.

If she continues to ask for money, simply tell her no, that you are no longer able to do so. If the friendship survives, then great. If not, well then that is just what it is.


She hasn’t bothered me with asking for money and so far she wants to keep the friendship

1 Like

I believe Sita’s said it best here, and I agree. There might also be her own struggles and battles, so she might have to periodically be offline here and there. And she may not feel inclined to talk about it, especially if it’s something personal to her. I’m glad to hear that she still wants to keep your friendship, and that you’re looking into boundaries with your guys’ financial status. Wishing you both the best, and hoping you both can make it through this struggle.

Take care.