I don't even know what to title this one

I been struggling alot lately I got denied disability for the first time this go around I been struggling to leave the house so I haven’t been able to print off paperwork for my disability attorney so I’m freaking out in my head that she’s pissed off at me I’m struggling to get things done around the trailer to try and pull my own weight so my brother dosent get pissed off at me for being a free loader I’m sleeping in cuz my natural sleep cycle is to be up all night and sleep in I’m wanting to give up really bad but I’m still going I know my brother is far more busy and has far more on his plate then me and I hate that I struggle to do anything I’m so tired of feeling this way I’m trying exercises to help but they don’t seem to work but I don’t know if I’m half assing it or not like so much of my energy goes to just simply staying awake like I don’t shower regularly at all Im now up to a week of not showering as my newest record for longest time with out a shower it’s been so hot in the trailer the ace does nothing for us cuz we get blasted with the sun all day and I just blugh I’m kinda hitting a wall I really hope this isent how I’ll spend the rest of my life but so far its what it seems like

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Evidence of your disability is that it’s a struggle to leave the house, deal with paperwork, and generally struggle with getting things done. Therefore, your attorney has no reason to be pissed off, simply because you are demonstrating symptoms of your disability.

It is absolutely not a surprise that you have very low energy and motivation. You are angry with yourself. You say bad things about yourself. You’ve had this habit for a long time. Therefore, your mind has been telling your body that it can’t function. Yes you are hitting a wall but you have had a hand in building it, and you can deconstruct it as well.

Stop judging yourself harshly. Attempting to change behavior through shame virtually never works, because shame programs the subconscious towards failure.

Any exercise is better than none at all.

The most difficult part of any project or attempt to change personal habits, is taking the first step. Visualizing the steps is necessary before actually taking them. When a person has been down for a long time, the steps must be very small in the beginning, so they can be easily visualized. For example, sitting up is the first step, standing is the second step, picking out a set of clean clothes is step three, walking into the bathroom and starting the shower is step four, and so on. It might work just to ask yourself, can I stand up? can I go over there and turn on the light? can I walk to the bathroom and just sit for a few minutes before starting the shower?

Ask yourself, can I call the attorney and explain the difficulty that I’m having? Ask yourself, can I wake up 10 minutes earlier tomorrow? Small sustainable changes eventually add up and life becomes better. In as little as few weeks, positive habits can become automatic.

If you try to change too much at once, it won’t work. Be patient with yourself. Congratulate yourself for every small victory. You have the power to do it. That is the absolute truth.

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I’m trying to get back on the wagon of improvement and I been working with my therapist through my issues of self esteem they have been a issue ever since I was a little kid

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I’m glad you are working with a therapist. Not giving up is the most important measure of success.

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