A few years back I read a book about suicide written by a psychiatrist. And one chapter that stuck with me was the chapter about loneliness and depressions. Bear with me if you’re up for a little (thought) experiment.
He said, no matter how horrible and lonely you feel right now, no matter how hopeless everything seems, let’s assume you are not the absolute loneliest person in the world. You are “only” the second-loneliest person in the world. Let’s assume there is one single person who is even more lonely than you are. And now your goal is to find that person, so you both won’t feel lonely anymore. Make this your personal quest.
Now this is very difficult if you don’t know anyone and have no social contacts. How are you going to find out who it is? It could be anyone. Because from the outside you cannot really see if a person feels lonely or not. Even if they are surrounded by friends and family, they could still feel lonely or misunderstood. Even if they are sitting all alone by themself they could be happy and content that way. So let’s scrap that.
Instead, to find that one person, you have to get to know people, and talk to them. Even more importantly, listen to them. He said to find that one person, we have to suppress what we like doing the most for a short while, which is to talk about ourselves. People love talking about themselves. If you let them talk and just listen, they will see that you are honestly interested in getting to know them, they will enjoy your company and in return listen to you as well. Whenever a conversation comes up, it can be a random person on a bus for example, take it. Try to start conversations on your own, ask questions, try to get to know people, then they might want to get to know you, too. Keep doing that and don’t stop.
Now I have to be honest with you. In the end you might not find the loneliest person in the world. But that is okay. Instead you will find many other interesting people. You will have more social interaction. You might even find new friends, or just people to talk to, to spend time together. And through that, you will find your way out of loneliness. By accepting that you are only the second-loneliest person in the world, and searching for the loneliest one, you will not be lonely anymore.
I don’t know if my rambling is helpful to you, but I hope so. Remember, you feel lonely, but you are not alone. We are here, and you are truly valued.