I have no motivation to do anything. I know what you might think, I don’t want to finish an essay or go do the dishes or whatever, but when I say anything, I mean it. It takes a lot for me to get up and change my clothes, or shower, or brush my teeth or hair. It’s gotten to the point where it takes a lot from me, a lot of reasoning with myself to bring myself to get up and do the most basic things like getting water or getting food, getting out of bed to use the bathroom. It’s hard for me to do any of that. It’s just hard for me to wake up in the morning and realize what I’m going to have to do. I go weeks without brushing my teeth or changing my clothes or showering at all, which I know seems bad, but I’m perfectly ok with it.
If I realize I need to do something that I actually really need to do, like brush my teeth or shower, I put it off for days and just remind myself that in the long run, it won’t have an impact. This has been going on for months now, it’s not a new thing or something that goes in and out, it’s just constant. I’m not depressed or anything, I’m not sad. I have social anxiety but that doesn’t really impact me that much anymore because I don’t really leave my house to do anything.
There’s no reason why I feel like this. I think it’s just laziness, but it’s gotten worse. I’ve struggled with different stuff in the past that would make me think I have some sort of mental illness or something, but I honestly don’t feel sad or anxious, I don’t have mood swings, I don’t have breakdowns or fall into depression regularly. It could be laziness and this could all be nothing, but it’s not like I really have a life or anything. I don’t go to school, I don’t get up to go shopping or do any housework, I don’t have a job, there’s nothing I do in life. I know what you may think, “Get in a routine and you’ll stop being lazy!” “You just need to be more active and do things and you’ll be motivated!” Well, I’ve tried that. I’ve tried routines and being active, it doesn’t help me one bit.
I don’t really plan on going anywhere in life, so that might be part of it. I tell myself that in the long run, going to school doesn’t matter, work doesn’t matter, nothing matters, because I’m too far gone to recover that part in my life. Anyways, I’m getting carried off. But, if you could help me that would be great. I’m not asking for some cheesy life quotes or suggestions for healthy living, I just want to know what’s wrong with me.