Hi, i don’t know how i feel, i just wanna be better, my best version of myself, i’m scared all the time and i don’t wanna lose my boyfriend, he is so kind with me, but i get sad the most part of the time, i don’t wanna be sad anymore, i don’t wanna cry for no reason, i want to get better, how can i be better? How can i start? I’m jealous and my boyfriend told me all the times, i love you and i don’t want another woman for me, i want you, but my mind don’t understand and i get jealous with every person that he talks to, because she’s better than me, she’s might be, more beautiful, more intelligente, more interesting and i’m afraid that he don’t choose me… Sorry if you can’t understand what i’m saying, i’m desesperate and sad, honestly i feel that i’m not good enought and i’m worried about everything… And i learning to speak english, i don’t know how to practice, i don’t have money to learn… Hope i get better and i hope you get better too.
Hey @Impala67,
No worries for your English, what you just shared makes sense and is absolutely understandable! Btw if you’re interested in learning English or doing it already, I can highly recommend you the DuoLingo app. It’s a free, quite popular app and the content is really good. It’s not too draining either, as you can decide to learn just a few words /day or spend as much time as you want on it. 
I’m jealous and my boyfriend told me all the times, i love you and i don’t want another woman for me, i want you, but my mind don’t understand and i get jealous with every person that he talks to, because she’s better than me, she’s might be, more beautiful, more intelligente, more interesting and i’m afraid that he don’t choose me…
That’s tough. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this kind of doubts, friend. Your boyfriend sounds to be really supportive - which is awesome! But despite his love and kindness, there are these thoughts making it hard to believe him, even if you really want to. It’s hard when it’s like we know something but we feel differently. Because we’d be crippled by so many doubts and fears about ourselves. And it can be hard to understand why someone loves us if we don’t see ourselves as being loveable.
People around you will always be “more this” and “less that” than you. But there’s no one like you, as a unique individual. You are the one being in a relationship with your boyfriend. Do you know where these thoughts come from? Why do you think you are not enough for him?
Do you struggle with past relationship trauma? I definitely do, and it’s easy for me to have fear that I’m going to lose people I love because of past hurts from other people. Your boyfriend sounds very sweet and patient. Maybe have a more thorough conversation about these fears? And you know we’re here for you <3
Thank you for your support, i feel calm knowing that you can understand, my pronunsation is bad, is just that i feel nervous when i try to talk with someone in person and thank you for the recomendation, actually i use this app, is good and is funny spend time learning there.
Yes, i want to feel relax knowing that he obiously love me, but sometimes i forget about everything and the toughts start to show and don’t stop and i don’t know how to control it, i don’t want to lose him, i want to enjoy every moment with him, but sometimes i get angry or sad for little things and later i realized that was so stupid feeling like that, i don’t wanna be afraid or worried if someone new comes to the life to my boyfriend…
Thanks, oh, i didn’t ask myself that in any moment. I think that the toughts come to me when i see a best girl than me and i start to having those toughts, but in fact i don’t know where they come from…
I guess that all my life i’been feeling like i’m not good enought and i have to be better that the others, but i don’t know why, i guess my parents never make me feel good enought and i was feeling like i have to do something about that, maybe “being better” than someone else, makes me feel enought.
I think that i’m not enought for him, because i cry and i get sad all the time, he have to stay here until i feel okay, i don’t want to be like that, being sad or angry, not only impact my boyfriend, my family too, i want to be better for everyone to loves me, not being bad the most part of the times, i don’t want that he remember me like his girfriend that doesn’t enjoy the time with him and who was sad day and night.
He said that i’m pretty, but i don’t feel like i’m pretty, i don’t see that in me.
I just feel like that, i don’t know what to do with me…
Thank you for your words, wherever you are, i hope you be okay. 
No, is my first relathionship, in the past i used to run away from the feelings to another man, i was afraid.
Since i was a child, i’been having that feeling, afraid of losing someone that i love, even when i know he is here for me, i get sad when i come home after i see him, i don’t know why.
And thank u, yes he is so patient and kind with me, he treat me like a queen, is for that that i’m afraid to losd him, is like, why is he by my side if he can have a better woman than me?
Is a good person that i feel like i’m gonna lose him, he is my inspiration and motivation every day, if i haven’t him, i would be lost.
Thank you for your support, i hope you can lose that fear and feeling like me and i hope that you find someone who treats you with all the love that you deserve.
Seend you good vibes wherever that you are right know.
Thank you for clarifying! I think the feeling of being afraid to lose somebody you love is human nature. You’re sad when you go home because you love him and love being around him. I am totally the same way. He loves you for lots of reasons, I know it’s so easy to believe the lies we tell ourselves about how we’re not worthy enough or there can always be someone better. It’s so hard to do this, but something I’ve been learning from HeartSupport is to take your thoughts captive. If you’re starting to feel anxious about losing your boyfriend or other loved ones, try to think about all of the reasons why they are in your life. You are so loved by many!
Hey @Impala67, this is a late reply, but I wanted to thank you for taking the time to respond and I hope you’re feeling a little better these days. 
i start to having those toughts, but in fact i don’t know where they come from…
I guess that all my life i’been feeling like i’m not good enought and i have to be better that the others, but i don’t know why, i guess my parents never make me feel good enought and i was feeling like i have to do something about that, maybe “being better” than someone else, makes me feel enought.
What you mention here sounds to be some very valid reasons to feel like you’re never good enough. It doesn’t mean you’re not. But it makes sense to feel how you feel.
It sounds that you’ve been living with this way to feel about yourself for a long time. It makes sense to be used to it and not really question it most of the time. But the very fact that you are here shows, in my opinion, that somehow you know that this is not satisfying to you, also that you deserve better. How you perceive yourself may need to be unlearned from now, so you can give yourself the space and energy you deserve to exist as you are.
Maybe aiming for some kind of never ending perfection, like thinking “I have to be better” all the time was a way for you to navigate through this life until now. But it doesn’t have to be like this. Maybe you were not always surrounded by people who made you feel like you are enough as you are. But I can assure you: you are beautiful and really enough as you are. You have a rich inner life. Dreams, desires, passions, skills and strengths that are only waiting to be acknowledged and embraced.
The girls you compare yourself with are not you. And that’s wonderful! They don’t need to be you. And you don’t need to be them. Not because someone would be better than another person. But because you are uniquely you. And that’s a gift for the people who have the chance to know you. But I understand that this can be hard to perceive if you’re struggling with seeing your own worth from time to time.
Trust is hard to give, even if we know that we are loved. Because it can be hard to trust and value ourselves first. You don’t have to be enough for your partner. You already are. You only have to be, and to allow yourself to exist, with as much self-love and compassion you need. Your partner is with you because he loves you. You and no one else. He probably sees you even when you don’t really see yourself as you are.
At this moment, do you think seeking therapy could be a possibility for you? I know you mentioned money in your first post, so I’m wondering what could be some resources to you right now. Therapy can be very helpful, but there are also resources out there to learn to know ourselves better and build a sense of self-confidence. Just because feeling better is something you need to do for yourself first. Right now, I’d like to encourage you to have a look at the exercises here on the Support Wall, just because you may find some interesting ways to explore those feelings and challenge the thoughts that you have about yourself:
https://forum.heartsupport.com/c/growth/61
No obligation though. Just know that this is a resource available anytime. It did some exercises myself, and it helped to find some clarity when I was struggling with negative feelings and overwhelming thoughts.
Journaling can aso be an interesting way to reflect on yourself, your thoughts and your emotions too. And you just need a pen and a paper (or a functional phone or computer ;)). These 3 short but essential journaling prompts are personally a good reminder to me when I don’t know where to start or how to be more tuned with myself:
Taking some time on a regular basis to ask yourself this kind of question can be helpful in the long run. To learn to know yourself better. Also to treat yourself well and practice self-care.
It takes time, patience and grace to learn to see value in ourselves. But know that this community is here to support you through this process. Regardless of how many steps you could take, which steps and when. Following your own pace is all that matters.
You have worth just by being you. This truth goes beyond what your mind tells you sometimes.
Hi, i’m glad that you answer me, don’t worry it’s okay if i didn’t have an answer, the universe give me the correct answers in the perfect time.
I don’t know what to say honestly…
It means a lot for me, being here and knowing that there are someone in somewhere listening to me and understand what i’m feeling, you are good with the words, i mean i want to cry because i feel lucky, grateful and happy with every word you put here.
I don’t know how i feel, i change all the time, somedays is like, oh i feel happy and i want to do everything, but sometimes is like, oh god really i don’t want to be here anymore…
And i hope you feel good or better, you are an amazing human.
Yeah i minimize myself and i’m negative in the most part of the time…
Thank you, thank you for everything, never is to late to say lovely words to everyone who is fighting a battle, we have to keep fighting no matter what…
Yes i’m not they and i’m not that girls.
Yes but sometimes i didn’t realize any of this and i have irrational thoughs, but thank u.
Yes, i want to go with a terapist, but when all of this contingence be gonne…
Great thanks.
It can help me in a great way, i want to try and i really want to get better, to be a better person…
Thanks you for all of this, i hope you receive a lot of love and everything you need to stay here day by day.
You matter and everyone matters.
Hey @Impala67,
Thanks you for all of this, i hope you receive a lot of love and everything you need to stay here day by day.
You matter and everyone matters.
Thank you SO MUCH for your kind words. It definitely brings a smile today. I can feel all the compassion and loving vibes just by reading your message. You’re a sunshine. 
Yes but sometimes i didn’t realize any of this and i have irrational thoughs, but thank u.
It makes sense. It can become automatic at some point. Something you’ve been used to think and believe for a long time. It’s also understandable that those thoughts are more or less present depending on the day and how you feel. When I feel very vulnerable, for one reason or another, I start to be crippled by so many doubts about… everything, but especially about myself. It’s really exhausting sometimes.
It’s also awesome to hear that you feel okay with the idea of seeing a therapist - even though this year things are a bit crazy with covid. It’s an important step that could help you tremendously to work on your fears. You’re awesome! Whenever you are ready, know that this community is here to cheer you during this journey.
I wish you to have a wonderful day. Keep shining brightly. 