It’s not ending. I keep thinking if I get enough things right or get good enough grades or have enough friends things will work out but I am beginning to realize it just won’t. I don’t have anyone to talk to. I feel alone every day walking into school, aware of my incompetences and knowing full well everyone else is aware too. My friends don’t care about me. My dad hates me and my mom is too busy with her own stuff for me to add more onto it. I am in therapy but I get these really low lows and I know I can’t ask anyone for help. The worst part is is that its all my fault. I am the one that’s boring, stupid, ugly, irritating, and lazy. I am the one without anyone to talk to when im down, for good fucking reason. I am trapped inside of my stupid fucking head and I will never be able to get out of this body, and never be able to enjoy my life, and for that I want to kill myself.
sometimes, even when we feel there is nowhere else to hide, nowhere else to run to, and nobody to help us, the universe helps you out. like a couple weeks ago: i was really going through it. i thought i couldnt go on with life. one night, i was listening to i will remember you, and suddenly, i knew everything would be ok. i knew it would get better. i know it is so unbelievably hard to push through these times, but when you finally make even the smallest improvement, your entire mindset can be flipped. i guess im begging you, in a way. yeah, i dont know you, but ive been where you are. i know that it sucks so bad, and that it hurts so much in so many ways. but i also know that i love you. i love you because i see myself in you. i see the pain, and the fear. but i also see the potential. you will get through this. you are so incredibly strong to go through this. you are loved. in this moment, your life is the only thing that matters to me. please, please, please, keep pushing. push until you no longer can, and then push harder. dont give up. treat yourself. pet some cute animals. have faith in yourself. i love you.
We’re here for you and those things you feel about yourself are lies. I know because it’s a battle I deal with a lot myself. The world is a better place for having you in it and if people don’t see that, that’s on them not you.