From pluffy_f: I am seeing 2 therapists and I am starting to think that therapy isn’t working for me. I feel numb to my emotions most of the time and when being asked how I feel I don’t know what to answer. I don’t even know how to answer most of their questions.
I don’t know how to dump my pain. All my life I was taught to suck it up and keep it in. Nobody to talk to about it. Nobody to comfort me. I don’t know how to not keep it in anymore. I don’t know how to show my emotions. Where do I get help for this?
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I’ve definitely been there. I read a few books recently (ok I listened to the audio version) that have helped. A big one is by Mastin Kipp called “reclaim your Nervous System”. I think what I liked most was how helpful it was to naming how to be with the emotion and actually process it. My biggest learning was that I was not having a breakdown or anything I thought but I was actually having a very natural response to the events and things in my life that just generally suck. I don’t know why but seeing that my emotions were not my identity and the things that happened to me were not because of me but were just because of either circumstances or other people was really helpful. I’m still lonely and don’t have a lot of people to process this with but I’m trying to go to new places and meet new people who actually get it. Even online is good like this. To be honest I don’t even know that I want you to stop feeling the emotions but I hope you can try different ways of letting them out and letting them express themselves. I think I tend to express mine in ways that are mostly unhealthy but that leads to more of the same. I’ve started doing some breathing and light physical workouts that also help a lot more than I thought they would. Between that and some of the books it’s helpful. But I think finding more people to just share this stuff with is most helpful. I am really surprised at how many people are right around me faking that they don’t deal with this same stuff. But when I bring it up they either fake it and run away or actually tell me they deal with it too. I’m learning that the people who run away are more scared of being found out than they are scared of me. Anyway I hope this helps as you’re navigating it all. I’ll give you the mantra that I’ve been saying that is a huge help. It’s that “Everything is temporary” so this state I’m in is going to come to a natural close and i’ll be in a better place to help other people as long as I just keep moving.
From pluffy_f: Thank you================