I have a very close friend, let’s call him Adam, who has been battling an addiction with ketamine for as long as I can remember. What’s really messed up is that after looking back on my friendship with him, I’ve realized that the only reason our friendship has grown as close as it has is because of how much I’m constantly doing to help him when he finds himself in trouble.
I thought he had gotten over his addiction, so I invited him to my wedding, and he was on his best behavior the entire time. However, the following day, he met my husband and I plus a bunch of our friends out for brunch to celebrate, and I could tell he was messed up not only from the ring of white powder around his left nostril but also the way he basically stumbled all the way down the street with us. After we were seated, he got up to use the bathroom. After a few moments, I glanced over towards the bathrooms and the door to the men’s room was left wide open, which sent me into a panic because I knew this meant he had wandered off somewhere. I pulled out my phone to call him, and before it even rang, someone else picked up and informed me that they Adam was sitting there with him waiting for an ambulance to arrive. I abruptly had to leave the restaurant, thankfully with his car keys that he had left on the table, and drove to the hospital to go pick him up. I then drove him, in his own car, about an hour back home and met up with his parents. I had their phone number and was giving them updates on everything, and even let them know where Adam had his drugs hidden in his car so they could confiscate them as soon as possible.
This incidence occurred three weeks ago, and since then, he has had 4 additional overdoses that have landed him in the hospital. He keeps sending me these manipulative text messages and trying to make me feel guilty, but I’m not buying into them because I know how the mind of an addict works. His brother and I have put him in contact with a former state trooper who works with addicts a lot to give him some “tough love” and a perspective that isn’t from a family member. Adam texted me this morning (he OD’d TWICE yesterday) to boast that he has an appointment scheduled with a psychiatrist tomorrow, but I don’t see how outpatient is going to help him, especially knowing that it hasn’t helped in the past. He claims he wants help but there’s no way of believing him.
After speaking with my own therapist today, I know I need to take a step back from him, but I’m still staying in contact with his family to help in any way I can, I just want to make sure I’m offering the best support possible while also keeping my own needs and mental health in mind.
Thank you frands <3