I don’t really know how to express love or affection, even though I am trying and people around me are expressing gratitude for my attempts, but I still feel disconnected.
Showing affection looks different for different people. Some show it through words, some with gifts, some with acts of service and so on. I don’t think there is one “correct” way to show affection. Everyone is different and showing affection isn’t always the easiest to do so I think it is really great that you are trying despite it being kind of a foreign feeling to you and I am especially glad to hear that the people around you are expressing gratitude! It sounds like you have some really supportive and caring people around you! Know that although it may take time to be more comfortable showing affection or to figure out how you show affection towards others, it doesn’t mean you’ll never figure it out. I would encourage you to be patient with yourself and know that with time you will get there.
They are very supportive, but I still feel void inside and detached from everything, like I don’t see any future in front of me. However, a dream I have is to go and live and work abroad and start a real band over there.